28th June 2017 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:


Chaos across the UK and Europe as hackers take down giant companies. We need Agent 99 to fight Chaos….


A Gold Coast husband has returned home from shopping to find his wife, sister in law and mother in law all dead in a trio suicide pact.


Australia Post names a woman as the new CEO and pays her less than 50% of what her male predecessor was earning…..reinforcing the sterotype that women are willing to work for less than men.


Ugliest Dog for 2017 named. No one cares.


Man breaks the record for balancing a lawn mower on this chin…..I don’t mow lawns but I think he is doing it wrong.


Coca-Cola becomes the new fake tan alternative…..the sweet sweet nectar of the gods.


A dead kangaroo has been found in Melbourne draped in a Leopard Skin and holding an empty bottle of Ouza. Outcry over the Roo being killed…..but hear me out….I am offering an alternative prequel to this story….maybe the roo just partied way too hard and can’t handle his alcohol. Oh and I noticed no one is asking after the poor leopard.


Fast food deliveries to jailed youth thugs have been banned in Victoria……why was this even allowed in the first place?


A woman riding a Melbourne Tram to work has found herself sitting opposite the Prime Minister of Australia….her reaction…ignore him and leave her head phones on….Internet went into meltdown over the pic of the incident….See Pic…Maybe this photo shows the level of engagement the Australian Population feel toward PM Bernie. If I was one of the Coalition Govt Powerbrokers….this pic would alarm me.


New words in the Oxford Dictionary…..Totes amazeballs, Bazinga, covfefe….just kidding but my words were better than the actual real ones…Chana Dal, Doenjang, hygge and zyzzyva….see I told you.


Pompeii like discovery made in Rome during metro construction…..I saw that movie and they all die in the end….who would have seen that coming?


Serene Williams has told a reporter to ‘Respect my privacy, I am having a baby’ when asked a question….this on the same day she posed naked for Vanity Fair….Clearly she is really protecting her own privacy…..


Nigerian University builds a trench to stop Boko Haram suicide bombers.


A baby in the US has been born that is the size of a 5 month old. The mother released a statement after the birth…..ouch!


The Queen earns 82 million pounds a year.


Bear Attacks suspends Alaskan race…..apparently as they were singing ‘There’s a bear in there’, there actually really was. Remember where that song comes from?


And on that note….Have a wacky Wednesday.

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27th June 2017 Morning News Wrap



M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

Man arrested in Queensland with a $5 million Casino Debt.

One of Australia’s most wanted men caught after two years on the run.

Funeral for the Aussie Nurse killed on London Bridge was held yesterday.

Headline reads ‘The disgusting food that needs to stop being a thing’. I didn’t open the story but here is my list of things that I am sure should not be eaten as it is against nature….Brussels Sprouts, Choko, Cabbage, Tofu, and Balut and if you don’t know what Balut is then don’t Google it. (Trust me)

PM Bernie has boosted funding for Victoria’s anti-gang police squad:- it equals one whole extra officer….I am sure that will make a HUGE difference.

Roxy Jacenko and Oliver Curtis…..nothing nothing nothing. HEY JOURNALISTS OF AUSTRALIA….No one cares.

Russian Sub test fires and ICBM across Asia.

22 million Americans have lost health insurance as the Obama Care package is repealed…I am not sure of whether Obama Care was good or bad….Any of my American friends want to make a comment and tell us a little about it?

Judge orders remains of Salvador Dali to be exhumed for a paternity test…. He will look worst than a melted clock. (that’s an art joke).

Strip show at a notorious South African prison has sparked outraged and now 13 officers have been suspended. Ha ha suspended….read suspenders….Just that’s where my brain went.

Russians name Stalin as ‘most outstanding’ world figure…Putin ties for second….And I bet the judging panel are now imprisoned by the Gulag in Siberia labor camps.

Arkansas prisoner captured after being on the run after 32 years on the run.

US Supreme Court to hear appeal of a baker who was successfully sued for refusing to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple. Either way this case will have significant ramifications for Christian Businesses.

8 foot shark terrifies holiday makers in Mallorca. See Pic.

Facebook to start producing its own TV shows. Can’t be any worse than the drivel commercial stations serve up to the masses to brainwash them each evening….like The Project.

Supreme Court reinstates some parts of Trump’s Travel Ban.

Saudis thwart suicide bomber targeting Islam’s holiest site.

Wall Street down 14 points.

Have a super Tuesday.

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24th June 2017 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

Woman hit and killed by a train in Melbourne.

Six people treated for suspected drug overdose at a Sydney nightclub.

Queensland car dealer foils drug affected car jacker’s plot.

Man with a 100 year driving ban has been found driving in Victoria.

South Australian State Government has put a levy on the big banks.

Sacked ABC Journalist has called for Australia to become an Arab Dictatorship.

Concrete bollards have been put up in sites in Sydney and Melbourne in an Anti Terrorism move.

Three people have been killed near Innisfail after a truck and mini bus collided.

Police considering manslaughter charges in relation to the Grenfell fire in London. The source of the fire has also been confirmed as a faulty Fridge. Death toll still stands at 79.

800 homes in London evacuated post the Grenfell fire.

Wall Street down 2 points.

Johnny Depp has made jokes about assassinating President Trump.

Separate Taliban blasts kill nearly 30 in Pakistan.

3 kids and 2 adults have been electrocuted at a water park in Turkey.

Cargo ship that hit a US destroyer was on auto pilot at the time.

Tornado takes the roof off a shop in the US but leaves bottles neatly stacked on the shelves….see Pic.

A third 12 year old girl in a small Canadian Community has committed suicide as part of a suicide pact that leaders fear involves up to 40 children.

Have a magnificent day.

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23rd June 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:


Schapelle Corby breaks her leg. She did it on a boogie board….just kidding.


Koalas are facing extinction in certain parts of Australia. Probably killed by drop bears.


PM Bernie gets his new Gonski package through parliament. Hey look Australia our PM did something.


New Yorker arrested in a sting operation trying to join ISIS.


Iran supplies 1000 tons of food per day to Qatar.


KKK is still active in 33 states of America.


Tornado tears through Hamburg after extreme heat wave.


Famous French fitness blogger has died when a cream canister blew up and punched her in the chest causing a heart attack.


There are 3 people killed every hour in Mexico. Murder rate at a 20 year high.


Two Bali jail break prisoners have been caught 1000 ks from Bali. Aussie guy still on the run or still in the flooded tunnel. They don’t know.


A woman in Turkey has been attacked for wearing shorts on a bus during Ramadan.


The Florida mum who filmed herself letting a snake bite her toddler won’t be charged.


Prince Philip has left hospital after two days.


There are 600 buildings in London clad with the same cladding that was on the Grenfell building.


A US Sniper has killed two IS militants that were two miles away.


Prince Harry says no one in the Royal Family want to be the next King or Queen.


Wall Street down 12 points.


Have a great Friday.

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22nd June 2017 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:


Queensland played an outstanding game last night in the State of Origin pretty much securing the series win as the next game is a mere formality, based on history and current skill set differences between the two state teams.


Rebel Wilson says any money she gets from her law suit will go to charity.


Adelaide woman has been charged with biting a waitress….guess she was still hungry.


NSW police allowed new shoot to kill powers. Probably won’t argue next time I get pulled over for speeding.


A Victorian farmer has given his strangled dog CPR to save his life.


Tropical Storm Cindy batters US Gulf Coast.


Uber CEO resigns. Drives himself home.


Scientists unearth fossil of a enormous dinosaur. They found Clive Palmer???? Well they are doing better that the QLD Supreme Court.


Giant Squid wraps tentacles around paddle boarder off the coast of South Africa. See Pic.


ISIS blows up landmark al-nuri mosque in military.


Russian UN diplomat Voronkoc becomes first UN Counter Terrorism chief…that will solve the problem as the UN has an awesome track record of effective programs and interventions (#insertcycnicaltone).


Pentagon wasted $93 million buying forest camouflage gear for desert dwelling Afghan army. How can the Pentagon be this dumb?


The American parents of a 4 year old are suing their child care centre because their kid was bound up in duct tape. Yeah but they should have had some warning when the child care centre was called the Magyver Child Centre. He does everything with duct tape.


Michigan Airport closed after a cop was stabbed in the neck in a possible terror related attack.


One of the hottest June days on record has the English remarking…’I say old chap it sure is a little warm’. Anyway it’s a huge 35….so spring weather for an Aussie lol.


Over 100 people killed during heavy fighting in Central Africa.


The Queen has delivered her speech at the opening of the new UK Parliament. What she should have done is used titles from the rock group Queen in her speech…..So when it comes to Brexit: I want it all and I want it now….When it comes to a message to terrorists: We are the Champions of the World. About the Labor opposition loss at the recent election: Another One Bites the Dust. About the affection the UK has for the Queen: A Crazy little thing call Love. About the concern whether Teresa May will still lead the Govt: Don’t stop me Now. The Queen’s opinion of Camilla: Killer Queen. The usefulness of the BBC: Radio Ga Ga.


That will do…Did you notice I didn’t mention the Queen song….Fat Bottomed Girls You Make the Rocking World Go Round….Seemed so not politically correct.


OH I can’t help it…..Would have been perfect if the Queen mentioned Rebel Wilson.

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21st June 2017 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:


Four year old dies after being found face down in a Sydney Bathtub.


The Aussie missing after escaping from a Bali Prison, may actually not have made it out and they think he drowned in the tunnel.


Woman killed and 12 injured as a taxi and minibus collide in Victoria.


Grafton man who pleaded two years for help to find his missing wife has been arrested and charged with her murder.


Former Ipswich Mayor could face life in jail after a corruption probe.


A Muslim man living in Sydney who kidnapped a teen girl and then forced her to marry him in an Islamic ceremony….has been given bail…..well of course he has. The kidnapping and rape of a teenage girl….nothing serious there (#insertcynicaltone).


The far north Queensland teen who was bitten by a croc trying to impress a girl has been arrested for attacking a policeman on a meth fueled rage…..now that’s not the way to impress a chick.


In the headline news today….PM announces gas export restriction…..yeah ONE MONTH AGO. Come on Skynews….do better.


The guy who attempted the terrorist attack yesterday in Paris was on a Terror Watchlist…..which I personally think these watchlists are useless.


India arrests 15 men for ‘sedition’ after cheering for Pakistan in a cricket match…makes me concerned about cheering for Queensland in tonight’s State or Origin. But I like a winner so I will take the risk.


Estonia to set up the world’s first data embassy in Luxumbourg.


Bomb has exploded at a Brussels underground train station.


Three injured as a NATO SUV crashes into a car carrying Lithuanian students.


Waterbombing plane fighting wildfires in Portugal has crashed.


Man shouting Allahu Akbar causes terrorism scare on Swiss Subway. I think Allahu Akbar means everything is ok I come from a religion of peace.


Al-Shabaab car bomb kills 10 and injures over 20 outside a Government building in Mogadishu.


Wall Street down 61 points.


Faroe Islanders slaughter whales by hand in annual hunt….See Pic.


Danish family threatened with a fine for flying an American Flag in their garden.


In some parts of America, it’s too hot to fly at the moment and so flights are being cancelled.


Have a super Wednesday.

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20th June 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:


Toddler in PJs found wandering the streets of Melbourne.


Yacht raided by police on a Gold Coast seaway.


The comatosed student released from North Korea has died in hospital.


Seattle Police Department shoot and kill a pregnant woman. Yes she was black.


Grenfell fire death toll hits 79.
A Bedouin woman murdered by relatives in an honor killing in Israel.


4 prisoners dig their way out of a Bali Prison.


Car packed with explosives, rams a cop van on Paris’s Champ Elysees.


US shoots down Syrian fighter jet.


Soldiers killed in a roadside bomb in Thailand.


Have a great Tuesday…..I have notice a distinct lack of Aussie news in the normal news websites that I pull the news from…..It has changed over the last two weeks.

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