19th February 2018 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-

 

Apparently the majority of Australians want Barnaby Joyce to quit politics…..and the bullying of Joyce out of office continues…..and again we wonder why there is a bullying issue in Australia….well just watch how this situation is being outplayed.

 

A factory containing hundreds of cannabis plants has gone up in flames in Melbourne….Firemen and police are on the seen and I would imagine are having a great time…..but afterwards will be hitting Maccas due to getting the munchies.

 

Calls for a Nationals MP to be sacked after he posted a pic of himself holding a gun implying that he was going to shoot the Greens. This was just days after the Florida shooting…..Very poor taste.

 

Tropical cyclone Kelvin batters WA.

 

Controversy at the Winter Olympics as an Aussie misses out on a medal despite his competitor and medal winner, falling during his ski run.

 

Man stabbed multiple times in Sydney’s CBD.

 

Police investigating are after a man dies following his arrest in Sydney…..Witnesses say there was up to 15 police involved in his arrest.

 

Woman finds live maggots inside Aldi Chocolate cake.

 

NSW lifeguards have saved 150 people over the weekend from rough surf.

 

Trumps blames the FBI for missing Florida shooting.

 

Passenger plane crashes in Iran killing all 66 on board.

 

Cape Town is preparing to run out of water as supplies are down to 13%. They are saying that that day will be sometime in June.

 

Fears held for missing Queensland woman and baby.

 

Five people have been killed during a church shooting in Russia.

 

18 people die during an explosion at an Indian wedding.

 

That will do for today. Have a super Monday.

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16th February 2018 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-

 

Passengers stuck in their cabins after violence breaks out between two groups on a cruise around the South Pacific.

 

Barnaby Joyce takes personal leave and when this was announced in Parliament the Opposition jeered the announcement. And then we wonder why there is a bullying issue in our nation. Yes Joyce did the wrong thing but should he then bullied by the nation….Well Australia and the ALP says a very clear yes. Sure a 14 year old girl commits suicide due to bullying and we are all outraged but then so many people participate in the bullying in the workplace of a man who made some wrong choices. Wake up Australia. I suggested Joyce will be bullied from office….Wait for the resignation in Ten days. And we wonder why we have a problem.

 

PM Bernie has come out strongly and said that Politicians ‘Should not have sexual relations with their staff’.  I can’t help but remember President Bill Clinton categorically stating that ‘I did not have sexual relations with that women’. And in an unrelated comment Clinton smoked Cuban Cigars….which I did note was not banned in PM Bernie’s no sex statement.

 

There are some questions around how the no sex ban will be enforced. I am suggesting Go Pros on the heads of all Politicians and then at the same time the 12 year old boy in me snickers at the idea of a Go Pro…..think for a minute like a 12 year old boy. See Pic.

 

Police search for a missing man in the Brisbane River.

 

Queensland man rushing to get the washing off the line injured by lightning. Women please take note…this is why men should never be asked to get washing off the line.

 

MNW editor upsets people who are currently identify as women for apparent sexists comments about washing….But said editor is identifying this morning as a woman so said women are attacking one of their own.

 

Headline reads ‘ Aussie Golden Girl Lydia Lassila crashes in bitter end to long career.’ Which was a comment about the Winter Olympics…..But I can’t help but think, if she crashed out….probably not a ‘Golden Girl’.

 

Headline reads ‘The secret of a successful poo transplant’…..Apparently the story is about how to do a poo…..really….we need to tell people now….maybe they need to talk to the ALP….they  have thrown so much crap toward Barnaby Joyce in the last week that they are clearly experts in pooing.

 

Melbourne police off a street in the CBD after they discovered a suspicious package. Turned out to be a whole stack of poo from the ALP.

 

 

The teen who killed 17 people in the Florida school shooting had a posted a YouTube video last year saying he was going to a be a professional school shooter. He also chose Valentines Day to commit his act as he had had troubles with girls. This was the worst school shooting in over 5 years.

 

Huge sink hole swallows a street in Rome. So the advice When in Rome do as the Romans do….probably isn’t applicable here.

 

Wall Street up 303 points.

 

That will do today….If you are planning on undergoing a poo transplant today…I wish you well.

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15th February 2018 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-

 

Scotty James wins a bronze medal at the Half Pipe at the Winter Olympics. See Pic.

 

Queensland police have shot a 16 year old boy after he lunged at them with a knife in the Brisbane suburb of Springfield.

 

A mum has drowned at a Rockhampton beach. Her 5 year old son was taken to hospital as he had got into trouble in the water too.

 

Authorities are searching for a motorcyclist after he robbed an Armaguard truck in Melbourne. I wonder what he stole? Maybe he stole Barnaby Joyce’s integrity, maybe he stole our Prime Minister’s leadership ability, maybe he stole Prince William’s hairline, maybe he stole NSW’s Premier, maybe he stole all decent programing from Commercial Television, maybe he stole the gonads from Australia’s court system, maybe he stole half of the pipe that was in the Winter Olympics so there was only a half pipe left, maybe he stole Anthony Mundine….Ok he can keep that last one.

 

The teen driver who killed a Priest in Sydney says he wishes he was him who lost his life.

 

A female Muslim preacher has declared Valentine’s Day as immoral. Let’s take a guess who didn’t get any roses.

 

A Queensland University has had an outbreak of Gastro during O week. Meaning that all the new students are well orientated with the toilets. It also means that O Week will forever be known as ‘O MY WHERE IS THE TOILET WEEK’….no wait…..they already know ha ha.

 

A garbage truck driver has had a medical incident and then sped and crashed into a building in Brisbane. The driver died.

 

Princess Mary’s father in law dies of dementia.

 

A baby has been born in Memphis with a bullet wound after its mother was shot in a road rage incident.

 

Headline reads ‘Does my vagina look normal?’ Hey I need some help here people. I can’t find my vagina to see if it looks normal. Any ideas? Maybe the fact that its hiding may suggest its not normal. Should I be worried?

 

A new income study has debunked the myth that money can’t buy happiness….finally science has proved something I already knew….cause the more money I have the happier I am……

 

Severe cyclone in Tonga has caused widespread damage including flattening the nation’s 100 year old parliament building.

 

Have an amazing Thursday.

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14th February 2018 Morning News Wrap

thail

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-

 

Heatwave in Queensland and NSW, highfire danger in parts of NSW, cold front hits Victoria…..ah summer in Straya. Love it.

 

South Australia house burns down after a woman cooked chips for a midnight snack. Should have gone to Specsavers.

 

Princess Mary’s Father in law is ‘entering his last moments’…too late for a bucket list I suspect.

 

Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce publicly apologizes for making one his staff pregnant.

 

Five year old left in a car one 40 degree day while dad played pokies.

 

Mysterious death of pelicans, turtles and fish creates a foul smell off a Sydney Northbeach.

 

Man who filmed neighbours having sex and then shared in online has been jailed.

 

Rocks through at a car in a Melbourne Maccas Carpark has shattered the back window showering a toddler in glass…..the car parks are better at hungry jacks.

 

Israeli PM facing bribery charges.

 

The US Is putting pressure on countries to take back ISIS fighters that have been captured in Syria and Iraq.

 

Scientists warn a giant dome of lava off Japan’s southern islands could wipe out 100 million people, scientists warn…..well that sounds a little gloomy. Come on scientists try and keep things positive.

 

Pic is of a Thailand’s mysterious doomed mountain resort.

 

A five year old boy from the UK broke his neck on a trampoline but doctors failed to notive for five weeks….should have gone to Specsavers.

 

Tonga crushed by worst cyclone in 60 years.

 

Wall Street up 55 points.

 

Commonwealth is apparently in talks about whether Prince Charles should take over from the Queen…..My vote is never.

 

Tener un gran Meircoles. (Have a great Wednesday in Spanish).

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12th February 2018 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-

 

Commercial Passenger has crashed out of Moscow Airport killing all 71 on board.

 

Double Decker Bus crash in Hong Kong has killed 20 and injured 9 more.

 

Earthquake at the Winter Olympic site.

 

Queensland battered by fierce storms. See pic taken by Facebook Friend Karen Buttigieg of lightning hitting the Q1 building on the Gold Coast.

 

A P&O cruise ship on a three day cruise has had to return to Australia to offload a group of 6 men and one woman who got too rowdy on the ship….The ship then left only to return due to a medical emergency….the ship then left again only to return this morning as it’s the end of the three day cruise. So basically the cruise was a trip in and out of Sydney….Should have just caught the Manly Ferry for the same experience only cheaper.

 

Two people have been killed on a Victorian Highway after a car ran a red light.

 

Victoria Beckam squashes rumours that the Spice girls were getting back together.

 

Oxfam in trouble over the revelations that some of its staff used prostitutes in Haiti.

 

Grand Canyon Helicopter crash kills three but four managed to crawl from the wreckage.

 

Calls for cheer girls to be scrapped now that Grid Girls are gone.

 

Missing girl who went missing from her rural NSW home and who was missing over night on Saturday night, has been found safe and well.

 

5 year old Aussie girl with a brain tumour is now cancer free after overseas treatment.

 

Queensland farmer bitten by a 2 metre Brown Snake.

 

Issues with Barnaby Joyce continue to be a problem for the Bernie Government.

 

Nine people killed during an attack on an Indian Army base.

 

1 person killed and 12 injured during a knife attack in a Beijing Mall.

 

Murder spree in Kentucky leaves 5 people dead including the gunman.

 

Sword wielding attacker leaves 4 church goes injured in Indonesia.

 

US Professor fired after telling a student that Australia is not a country.

 

The Catholic church is Australia’s second largest land holder.

 

Have a great Monday.

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10th February 2018 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-

 

A man convicted of kidnapping a toddler from a Western Sydney Shopping Centre has avoided jail…..of course he has…because Australia’s court system is a joke. He got an 18month good behaviour bond. Insane….

 

South Australia police gave a lift to the State’s most wanted man, not knowing who he was, when his car broke down.

 

Chef found dead in a pool of blood in a Melbourne home.

 

Armed men on the run after a dramatic police chase through Melbourne suburban streets.

 

Man charged after police seize a drug haul of the drug ‘Coma in a bottle’.

 

Murder suspect Travis Kitchner arrested after five days on the run.

 

Earth is having a close encounter with an Asteroid at 8am Queensland time. It’s the closest fly by of any space matter and it will be only 69,000kms away which is about one fifth of the distance between the earth and the moon.

 

Teen boy is dead and two others injured after a high speed pursuit by Perth Police.

 

Opening Ceremony of the Winter Olympics happens. See Pic.

 

North and South Korea march under the same flag.

 

Denmark’s Crown Prince Frederik rushes homes from the Winter Olympics due to sick dad.

 

Trump signs a $400 billion deal narrowly avoiding yet another shutdown of America.

 

Wall Street up 324 points.

 

France to spend $45 billion on nukes.

 

Indian officer busted trading secrets with Pakistan for nudie pics. He was busted looking at busts. He was exposed looking at the exposed.

 

And on that note…..Have a great Saturday.

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8th January 2018 Morning News Wrap.

Heart

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-

 

Man feared drowned off Coolangatta.

 

A hot air balloon has landed heavily in Melbourne injuring people.

 

Another heatwave about to hit Australia.

 

Perth man accused of a mercy killing has been freed with just months to live.

 

Barnaby Joyce says one of the greatest failures of his life was the failure of his marriage.

 

Mystery surrounds the death of 16 polo horses returning to Melbourne from a game in Tasmania.

 

A mum from a Melbourne school has been reprimanded for sending a Lamington in her child’s lunchbox. UnAustralianism.

 

Elderly man drowns in a boat accident in Sydney.

 

Well no surprises here: A refugee teenager who kicked a police officer in the face has been released without consequences by a Melbourne court.

 

Lucky escape for four people who were sleeping on a $1million boat that went up in flames at Wallis Lake on the Central Coast.

 

Surgeons forced to halt operations as Royal Adelaide Hospital hit by blackout.

 

Former North Korean spy who killed 115 people asks for forgiveness.

 

A photographer has captured a Tennessee family’s heartbreaking final moment before their two year old daughter passed away whilst waiting for a heart transplant. See Pic.

 

Wall Street up 245 points.

 

Another earthquake has hit Taiwan.

 

Trump orders a Military Parade.

 

Travel chaos as heavy snow blankets Paris.

 

Thousands honour 60th Anniversary of Munich Air Disaster.

 

London marks 66th anniversary of Queens accession.

 

Have a super Thursday.

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