24th March 2018 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-


ASX closes 114 points lower on the back of trade issues between the US and China.


Sex charges against Cardinal Pell  have been withdrawn.


Two Cyclones bearing down on Australia’s north.


A Three year old girl has been killed when she ran across the road outside a church in Gosnells, WA.


It’s 365 days till the NSW State Election. Does anyone remember who the NSW Premier is? Me neither.


70 Pilot Whales have died after they beached themselves on a WA beach.


Tigerair to cram more seats onto their planes……I can see the new ad campaign….If you are a size 16 may we suggest Qantas.


Obama in Sydney for 22 hours. Check out the motorcade…..Wonder what this 22 hours cost the Australian taxpayer….and for what benefit when it’s a private speaking event. Acutally I couldn’t find a pic but there were 10 motorcycle cops and one police vehicle and then about 4 black SUVs.


Tasmanian GP says her state’s mental health resources are at third world level.


Teenage boys arrested after a $2 million drug haul was found at Bathurst.


There is a floating mass of rubbish between Hawaii and California that is the size of QLD with 1.8 trillion pieces of plastic that is now threatening marine life.


A gunman who went on a rampage in Southern France, killing three people and injuring 12 others, has been shot dead. See Pic.


The girl who was shot the other day in a Maryland’s school, has died.


Prince Philip’s health is failing.


Wall Street down 429 points.


Hey Hey it’s Saturday….Enjoy that fact. Have a good one.

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22nd March 2018 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-


Two people have been killed in a Helicopter crash just off Hamilton Island. I have been thinking abit about death of late and how death comes as a surprise to many and then the after life…..I have to implore you…..accept the saving grace of Jesus Christ whilst you still can. The afterlife without Jesus is just too horrible to gamble….You must be born again.


Women charged over the death of a Sydney Lawyer.


James Packer resigns from being on the Board of Crown Casino citing mental health issues.


Snake infestation across Sydney. If these snakes are found on building sights then it officially has to be labelled Snakes and Ladders. If they are found at the airport – it officially becomes Snakes on a plane.


A man has been killed after a trench collapsed in Ballarat.


Man records and uploads an apology message after his racist tirade yesterday in an Adelaide Centrelink office. Yeah…he is sorry he didn’t see the cameras recording the tirade.


A neighbour has saved a woman’s life after hiding her at the height of a domestic violence situation.


A Gold Coast school failed to tell the parents of a boy who had scissors held to his throat in a bullying incident.


A Victorian man who donated sperm for research 30 years ago, has discovered he fathered 8 children.


Austin serial bomber has been killed during his arrest.


Blast in Kabul, kills 26 people.


Wall Street down 45 points.


US Fed Reserve lifts interest rates by 25 points.


Israel claims responsibility for Syrian Nuclear reactor bombing.


Have a great day.

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19th March 2018 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-


70 homes and the local Primary school have been destroyed by fire in the Coastal town of Tathra. See Pic.


18 homes destroyed in a fire in Victoria’s South West.


Cyclone Marcus has dumped a huge amount of rain in Darwin, with many trees down.


Huge dust storm envelopes Canberra and cuts power.


Perth woman stabbed 5 times by a 15 year old boy.


Nick Xenophon has failed to win a seat in the South Australian Election.


Blue Ring Octopi are on the increase in a lake in Adelaide.


A man who urinated in a pot plant on his neighbours front veranda, has been jailed for two rapes that happened in the 80’s after his DNA was processed.


Three children pricked with needles while playing north of Perth.


Listeria outbreak has now killed 5 people.


Obama to visit Australia and NZ.


Putin wins Russian election by a landslide. No surprises there.


Florida Bridge collapse death toll is now 6.


Have a super day. Pray for the people in the fire effected areas.

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12 March 2018 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-


Violent Perth carjacking attempt sparks manhunt. I personally find the term manhunt offensive. It should be personhunt.


The girl who was electrocuted whilst she was watering the garden, is now breathing on her own.


The Jicklier Government is wanting to increase the number of pokies in NSW. Cause they are only driven by dollars and not the welfare of the people in the state.


Dramatic rescue of four teens from overturned catamaran off the coast of Brisbane.


Man has Porsche impounded ten minutes after buying it…which proves having money doesn’t mean you have brains.


A Victorian Grandfather has told how he fought off a shark by punching it in the head…..RSPCA says nothing….but had he punched a Roo…all hell would have broken out….Anyway the Shark was the same shark that Mick Fanning punched and so it has now launched legal action in the UN Court of Animal Rights, to stop people punching it. Hey you know how animals are sometimes loaned between zoos….I wonder when a shark is on loan whether it’s called a Loan Shark?


Ed Sheeran fans in Melbourne complain about the heat at the concert venue with lots of them feinting. Apparently, the venue was in a Castle on a Hill, although people are saying it felt more like a Lego House with the A Team (The Air Conditioning Team) failing. One victim, A Galway Girl, said the concert was less then Perfect, but then admitted she was just Thinking Out Loud. Another women, Nancy Mulligan who passed out, had a Small Bump on her head in the Shape of You. As she passed out she shouted Save Yourself and then mumbled Bibia Be Ye Ye, but she may have had alcohol in her BloodStream.


Ice effected woman backs over a 2 year in the Hunter Valley.


65% increase in women in Aussie jails over the last 10 years.


China approves Presidents for life.


Camilla could become Queen. No No No.


Lightning kills 16 and injures 140 at Rwandan church.


Black Panther earns $1 billion at the box office.


Catalan Independence protests attract thousands.


A woman in NZ performs a Tracheotomy with a Stanley Knife to save her boyfriend.


Navy pilot spots a mysterious object streaking across the Atlantic. See Pic…..Yeah I can’t see it either.


And on that note. Have a super day.

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10th March 2018 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:-
Disaster situation declared in North Queensland. Global Care at this stage is unable to make contact with its operatives in the area and is unable to get through due to road closures.
Football games happened. The Editorial Policy on sport is that generally sport isn’t reported on unless a sportsman punches a shark, breaks the kneecaps of an opponent or its women’s beach volleyball. Relax….I am kidding on that last one.
To be sure, to be sure, to be sure….A group of Irish gypsy mothers have scammed Brisbane business and trashed four new apartment. You read that first bit in an Irish Accent didn’t you….And apparently they used potatoes to clog toilets…..so stereotypical. Potatoes!!!
Sydney Tower to reopen.
People are rallying behind a beloved Principal who was sacked from a Melbourne boy’s school because he trimmed a boy’s hair on photo day. Agree or Disagree?
Jessica Rowe quits Studio Ten before she was sacked.
A woman has been found dead in a home and a suspect, who was known to the woman, has been arrested. Bet it was her partner or ex partner….when is the killing of women going to stop?
The husband of a murdered woman in a rural property near Perth has been charged with her murder. Clearly not yet!
Police to flood Melbourne CBD during the Moombe Festival. I think this is the festival of mass mooning. Anyone care to clarify?
Trump to meet Rocket Man. I assume with Elton John so there are no copyright issues.
First glimpses of Disney’s Star Wars Land revealed. The force is strong with this one.
Gunman takes 3 hostages at a Veteran’s home in LA.
Robbers in the Crimea answered an ad where a couple were selling a car….they arrived shot the parents, stole the car and drove it into a lake with the couple’s four year old girl in the car. So tragic.
The world’s top 50 most dangerous cities in the world have been released….Didn’t open the story but I bet Melbourne made it into the list. Relax Melbourne people I am kidding. (Hey rest of Australia I am not really kidding: I wrote that last message in ink that is invisible in to people south of Albury). Just young men going for a walk people.
Putin admits to lying to Michelle Obama. (Why is this news?)
A horse has been ridden into a Florida Nightclub by a bikini clad lady….the horse then reacted to the lights and noise (as they do) and bucked and threw the rider off (as they do)…outrage now on social media re animal abuse (as they do). But let’s give this woman the benefit of the doubt….maybe she had just ridden from Texas to Florida and was excited about her Florida holiday and unfortunately got lost and turned left when she should have turned right and so ended up in a nightclub that spooked the poor Texan horse.
Smoking kills 3000 people a year in the UAE.
Paris Museum opens its doors to art loving nudists and creeps who just want to perve on art loving nude chicks. Apparently, according to the report the demand is huge….So apparently size does matter in this instance. I have so many other comments like I hope the art is….no I can’t….but they were funny comments. Sorry I had to censor myself this morning.
There is a news report about a baby that was swapped at birth 40 years ago….Do you ever wonder if you were swapped a birth…I personally think I am the older brother of Ed Sheeran and Prince Harry….Ok if I am being super serious….I am the older brother of Harry Potter….See my Graduation Pic.
Have a good Sabado (Saturday in Spanish)….I personally am off to Hogwarts.
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9th March 2018 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-


Airport chaos at the moment at Sydney Airport after a computer glitch closed down security check points. Massive queues now with flights being delayed, which means its business as usual for Jetstar. Qantas Domestic Terminal still operating ok.


A woman has committed suicide off the Sky Deck of Centrepoint Tower in Sydney.


A Victorian mother has been charged with the murder of her 8 year old son.


Two year old Coffs Harbour girl is the fourth dog mauling victim in a week.


Trans Pacific Partnership signed this morning.


Ingham could see the biggest flood peak in its history. See Pic.


Perth grandfather bashed outside his home.


Woman makes $90,000 a year shipping baby formula and vitamins to China.


A Beaudesert farmer has found 6 of his cows dead after a thunderstorm….Seems they were struck by lightning. Does this mean they came already cooked?


Mt Isa man blows up his kitchen trying to kill cockroaches by lighting insect spray as a flame thrower…..#straya.


NZ actress and an unidentified man have been found dead in an Auckland house, a week after the actress went missing.


Trump about to sign into law, new tariffs on steel and aluminium. Australia is waiting to see details to see how this will impact our exports. I guess we can always export baby formula.


A NZ academic has been fired for complaining a Muslim student wouldn’t shake his hand. He was claiming sexual discrimination.


Apple suppliers have breached its core labor rules 44 times in the last year. This means that it has used companies that used child labor and debt bondage.


Up to 120 people evacuated from a smoking mine in Russia. They really should call the Quit Line. I wonder if the mine is called Gary…..Who remembers No Gary No. No Gary No. Nooooooo GARY!


Out of control Chinese Satellite is about to hit the earth. See the problem with the Satellite is that it was made in China….using cheap Chinese components.


And on that note. Stay safe from the Chinese and have a great day.

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8th March 2018 Morning News Wrap



M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-


Welcome to International Women’s Day.


Sydney man attacked on a cruise and now stranded in Vanuatu with facial injuries.


Sydney faces years of train disruptions due to a mega upgrade of the system.


DJ Kate Langbroek attacked in her St Kilda home.


Passengers evacuated after fire breaks out on Blue Mountains Train. See Pic.


Bernard Tomic’s entourage accused of drink spiking at a Gold Coast Nightclub.


A fisherman has got into trouble after he uploaded footage of him towing a live shark behind his ute. What an idiot?


Must be the start of the footy season….TV and Radio is being bombarded with gambling ads….and we wonder why we have a gambling problem in this nation….Hey people just because you put ‘Gamble responsibly’ at the end of the ad, doesn’t discharge your social responsibility. ‘Advertise gambling responsibly’


A cyclist has been killed whilst riding in South East Adelaide.


An 8 year old boy in the US loaded up a rifle and repeatedly shot his 4 year old sister. He then rang his mother who left work to clean up the blood, tend to her daughter’s injuries and then went back to work leaving the two alone again. Head shaking moment.


Bomb Cyclone moves enough sand off a beach in Florida that it has uncovered a shipwreck from the 1700’s.


A father in the US is in trouble after making his 10 year old son jog 1.6k’s to school because he had been kicked off the school bus for bullying.


A mother in Shanghi has handed her iPhone to her toddler who then tried to unlock it with so many tries….she is now locked out of her phone for 25 million minutes.


Nerve Agent used to kill ex Russian Spy in the UK.


Florida School shooting gunman charged with 17 counts of murder.


Manhunt in Vienna after knife attack leaves several people injured.


Crimes against the homeless on the rise in LA.


A Swedish wildlife park has been receiving death threats after they were caught destroying 163 healthy animals.


Have a super day and if you are identifying as a female today then Happy International Woman’s Day.

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