18th October 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

A Newcastle teen boy has died after attacking a pool employee and then being restrained by members of the public.

 

Brisbane grandmother attacked her baby grandson with a meat cleaver.

 

Footyshow dumps Fatty and will now be hosted by Erin Molan.

 

Six fishermen feared dead off the coast of Bundaberg after their trawler capsized.

 

Hey PM Bernie has been talking a lot about energy prices and how he wants to be a Messianic figure to the Australian household budget (my words), well its being reported that from 2020 the average Aussie Family will save between 50 cents and $2 a week and that’s the best we will be able to expect for the next decade…..wow a whole 50 cents a week….Well done Prime Minister, Well done. More like Judas I say.

 

Asthma attacks warning for Victoria.

 

10.8 million people have voted in the marriage plebiscite.

 

US backed fighters have liberated Raqqa. This city was the capital of the Islamic state.

 

Wall Street up 36 points. Dow reaches 23,000 mark for the first time.

 

A teen girl in the US has died of a Heroin overdose after she got hooked on painkillers and then harder drugs after she broke her back in a car accident.

 

Russian performance artist who set fire to a French bank has been put into a psych ward. Apparently arson is not art.

 

A private school in the UK who introduced gender neutral toilets and were held up and cheered on for being awesome and progressive and announced how all their students and parents loved the new toilets, have now, 6 months later, got rid of them as students were uncomfortable with the toilets and student satisfaction at the school had fallen significantly.

 

Have a super Wednesday.

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11th October 2017 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

Hola.

Tim Cahill, who for the record has been around for like forever, headed a goal for the Socceroos putting them a step closer to a fourth consecutive Soccer World Cup.

Well I constantly rage about Nick Kyrgios. He is a poor representative of the great Nation of Australia. I am sorry but I want him to be decitizened. He abused an umpire at the Shanghi Masters and quit the game and walked off. At what point does Tennis Australia say NO NO NO! He literally needs to be voted off the island (that’s a Facebook reference that only my long term Facebook friends will get).

A huge fire has torn through a Gold Coast home last inhabited by a dozen squatters.

A mum blogger has been shamed on social media….she took a pic of her child and her supermarket trolley and everyone raged about anything from the fact that bread was at the bottom of the trolley to the fact that she had two minute noodles and piklets…Here are two thoughts…. (ha ha two minute thoughts….just add hot water….Oh I am in hot water….keep reading). You have to be wise what you post on Social Media…Secondly seriously people need to get a life….I think if you are analyzing the grocery packing ability of a complete stranger and making comments about it…YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE….buy a plane ticket…fly somewhere….explore the world….

Apparently its harder to fall a sleep as you get older….Not if you ask Grandpa Simpson….No that’s not my grandfather silly…think Bart and Lisa. I didn’t know my Grandfather on my Dad’s side…he died two weeks before my elder sister was born….But she is not on social media so has she really ever eaten a meal or taken a photo of herself…?Well that escalated quickly….If you know her don’t tell her I mentioned her on Social Media….she works for a super secret division of ASIO. Just kidding.

Melbourne mum killed in a hit and run.

Snake Catcher hunts a Red Bellied Black snake in Kiama Downs after it bit and killed a family pet. I am guessing the Pet was not a snake.

For regular readers of the MNW have you noticed a lack of stories about The Jicklier…?that’s the NSW premier for the Newbies…..she seems very quiet…is she the girl version of PM Bernie? Girl Bernie…..Do we have a new code…..Come on People pay attention.

ARIA Nominations revealed….Oh goodie, I have had sleepless nights in anticipation. Girl Bernie is not on the list…..have we being paying attention….sounds like a TV show using some guy who once was in a car ad. Anyone still with me here….what is his name…..No not Bernie silly….And no not girl Bernie and not Sam….Come on people have you not being paying attention….lol?

Wait up can you put a question mark after an lol. What is the social convention here? Can you laugh with an upward inflexion? Can you ask a question with a giggle? What if you didn’t actually Laugh Out Loud but just internalized the LOL? Does that change things? Is there such a thing as LLOL….Liver Laughing Out Loud….or does that discriminate against other body parts? Should all organs being included…..BOLOL. Body Organs Laughing Out Loud….Am I over thinking LOL whilst in Chile?

Queensland family finds meat laced with poison in their backyard.

Ten people have been killed and thousands flee as wildfires rip through California Wine Country. 1500 homes have been burnt down. See Pic.

Russian General says North Korea is still five years away from being able to Nuke a US City.

OPEC wants to cut production to force up oil prices.

6.3 quake shakes north Chile…..No movement in Valparaiso according to the Morning News Wrap Staff who are on the ground bringing you the news direct from south of the quake zone.

Dr Seuss is racist apparently. Yeah but I bet he includes Livers in his writings…. A liver had a sliver in his quiver whilst crossing a river…but I am a bit of a kidder.

The Cat in the Hat….you got nothing on the liver crossing a river with a sliver in his quiver.

And on that note….Welcome to today may I say from a guy called Ray….I need to Stop….on top of a mop whilst running from a cop…..Just no.

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7th October 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

A man from the Sutherland Shire has been injured after a suspicious fire.

 

A huge overhaul of the Triple 0 system may soon mean that you will be able to text for help and also live stream for help. Well great to see Triple 0 getting modern….finally.

 

Two day old baby has been snatched from a Sydney Hospital with the baby’s grandmother responsible and hitting a man with her get away car.

 

German backpacker has been killed in a Brisbane road rage attack.

 

A Queensland policeman is under investigation for grabbing a girl in school uniform and throwing her to the ground….I watched the video and it certainly seems a very strange event….

 

A new anti racism ad by the Australian Human Right Commission has been blasted for sterotyping white males…the ad shows a white male in a suit letting a woman into a lift before stopping an African women from entering. Here is what I think….I think there is racism in Australia and a better example is potentially the policeman above as what I didn’t include in the story is that the story comes from an outback Queensland town and all involved but the policeman were Indigenous Australians. I think another example would be the racist rants that sometimes are reported on Public Transport (often by white teen girls just for the record)….I have other examples. So here is the question….is the ad racist against white males?

 

Here is another head shaking moment…A teacher in the Uk has been jailed for 16 months for having an affair with a 15 year old boy. The judge said ‘I accept that he was consenting – what 15 year old school boy would turn down such an attractive offer’…..so if the victim of underage sex is a boy, its an attractive offer and if the victim is a girl is rape or molestation…..Gross double standards.

A couple in the UK have found their 46 year old schizophrenic son, 13 years after he disappeared. He has been living homeless on the streets.

 

A guard at a daycare centre in Brazil has set the centre on fire killing four children.

 

A dad who was jailed 2 years ago for smothering his 2 year old daughter has been freed in Texas after his now 7 year old son confessed that he had accidently killed his sister.

 

A City in Croatia has installed a giant organ under some steps that are swamped by waves at high tide…meaning that the waves play the organ to those around.

 

Wall Street down 14 points….

 

And on that note….have a super Saturday.

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6th October 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

Well its more a late morning News Wrap or if you are in Chile it’s a very late night News Wrap….But I am committed to taking from around the Globe whilst I am around the Globe and depositing whatever I collect into your Frontal Lobe.

 

Hey speaking of Frontal Lobe….what was that book that we had to read in High school where people have a frontal lobotomy if they showed any level of rebellion? Anyway…I digress. Now the news.

 

British Man Nick Xenophon has resigned from Australia’s senate and will run for a South Australian State seat where they accept people from other countries leading them. Hope he takes his torch with him.

 

German bargain supermarket chain opens first store in Australia.

 

An Australian is murdered overseas every week on average. The deadliest location for aussie’s is Thailand. For the record 1633 tourists from various countries were murdered last financial year whilst on holidays…..Now time to call my travel agent….

 

A man has pleaded guilty to supplying the gun that killed Sydney police accountant Curtis Cheng.

 

Pedestrian critical after being stabbed in a Brisbane road rage attack.

 

Turbulence set to triple according to experts…..yeah they made this predication after a particularly nasty vindaloo at the local Indian Restaurant….Curry in a Hurry.

 

Headline reads ‘Jerk Sheep headbutts kid just for the hell of it’…let’s examine that story for a minute….the kid and his dad were in the sheep’s nature environment (the paddock) and they were threatening the sheep’s offspring (Patting a lamb)…so the sheep stood up for its young…..Verdict….Sheep not a jerk….Journalist a jerk for trying to click bait us.

 

Wall Street up 131 points.

 

Looks like the Las Vegas wasn’t the first choice for the gunman after its been revealed he had booked a motel for another festival weeks earlier but never showed up.

 

A pro life Republican Senator in the US has forced his mistress to have an abortion.

 

‘Stealthing’ – which is sneakily removing a condom so the woman doesn’t notice…has been ruled as rape by US Lawmakers….And good for them.

 

6 people killed in powerful storms in Germany.

 

And that will do….so so tired……..zzzzzzzz

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5th October 2017 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

Hola! Coming to you live this morning from Valparaiso, Chile.

 

Google has released a $1000 ‘radically helpful’ phone that may kill the iPhone X. Yeah but can it change red lights to green when you are busting for a pee, can it clean up messes your dog makes when it’s been naughty inside or can it help a woman shop faster…if the answer is no to those questions….then it’s not ‘radically helpful’

 

Teen stabbed in a Sydney park during a soccer game by a gang in front of parents and kids.
Vic Police release photo of makeshift car seat….See Pic.

 

Mike Baird has said that one of the main reasons behind his decision to quit politics was that his daughters were being horrendously bullied due to some of his policies….one of his daughters had actually moved to Port Macquarie to escape the bullies…..this is a sad story and sad that this will empower trolls.

 

Australian girlfriend of the Vegas shooter has returned to the US in a wheelchair as ‘a person of interest’.

 

Olivia Newton John’s daughter Chloe says the Vegas shooter is not to blame for the shooting but there is a darker organization behind him to blame….but she didn’t identify this key insight that she has that no one else has….oh oh the illuminati…..Speaking of dark organizations….I sat beside a Freemason on the plane trip yesterday and had a very interesting conversation with him about the secret society….which for the record I totally think is a demonic based organisation. Well that escalated quickly.

 

Trump visits massacre survivors.

 

There was a security breach during a speech by UK PM.

 

Speaking of the UK….a homeless orphan has been given a life sentence for killing the woman and her 13 year old son who had welcomed him into their home and had helped him to try and turn his life around.

 

106 year old Afghan woman receives temporary asylum in Sweden….lol temporary is all she needs….SHE IS 106

 

Malaysian 15 year old with a bloated stomach….turns out was due the dead foetus of his twin brother. Ewwww

 

Chinese warships dock in London for the first time.

 

Story on bad baby names. Timotei, Rowdy, Bambi, Wolf, Dolphin, Beige, a girl named Lolly, a boy named Raspberry and twins called Dolce and Gabbana.

 

What a mixed bag today…but you are across all the majors….Welcome to Thursday…or if you are in South America…keep enjoying your Wednesday.

 

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4th October 2017 Morning News Wrap

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Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

The MNW will be a little sporadic over the next week due to a temporary relocation to Chile.

 

Memorial to Allison Baden-Clay has been vandalized.

 

Melbourne measles outbreak spreads to Sydney.

 

The Federal Government wants access to all our license photos so they can use facial recognition software to spy on people….sure they say its to weed out criminals….but how long before the Orwellians are using it to police thought leaders.

 

Toyota shuts its Melbourne plant…..No more Aussie ‘Oh What a Feeling!!’

 

RBA keeps rates on hold.

 

Police taser a man trying to get onto a Jetstar flight at Melbourne Airport….of all the airlines to try and sneak on to…Jetstar is not the one I would select.

 

Bundaberg rainfall smashes 130 year old record. 340mm falling in the last 24 hours.

 

Police in the US have not established the motive behind the Vegas shooting.

 

The shooter was apparently a millionaire.

 

Vigils held for the victims of yesterday’s shooting.

 

1000’s queue for hours to donate blood for the massacre victims. See Pic.

 

Tom Petty died.

 

Wall Street up 79 points.

 

Arrests after failed bomb attempt in Paris.

 

Britain to reduce acid sales in a bid to stop acid attacks.

 

Eiffel Tower celebrates 300 millionth visitor.

 

Have a super day.

 

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3rd October 2017 Morning News Wrap.

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Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:
 
This morning’s MNW is dedicated to the tragedy in the US.
 
A lone shooter has killed 58 people and injured 515 in Las Vegas. He shot into the crowd of 22,000 attending a Country Music Festival.
 
The shooting is the deadliest in US history and indeed one of the deadliest in the world.
 
He had positioned himself on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay motel.
 
He killed himself before police got to him.
 
The shooter has no known links to international terrorism.
 
The shooter’s girlfriend is now a person of interest.
 
The shooter’s girlfriend is Australian.
 
The shooter’s father had a long criminal history and was at one time one of the FBI’s most wanted people.
 
The shooter was 64 years old and lived in a retirement community and was an accountant.
 
President Trump has describe the shooting as pure evil.
 
Hey people. Let’s pray for America this morning. Let’s pray for the injured, the families of those killed, this first responders, and all those shocked and grieved by this event. Let’s pray this changes America for the better and changes their Automatic gun ownership laws.
 
God Bless America.
 
Hug your loved ones today.
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