31st January 2017 Morning News Wrap.


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

A 33 year old woman has died…bringing to 6 the number of people killed in the Bourke Street attack.

Melbourne mum killed by her own car whilst her kids were in the car – when she got out to check a minor bingle – the car ran over her.

Refreshed NSW Cabinet sworn in…..bet that cabinet didn’t come flat packed. Damm you Ikea.

Speaking of Flat Packing….I refuse to type Berejiklian so I am today running a comp for the best nic name the MNW staff can use for the NSW Premier from here on in…..Prize is a large box of ferrero rocher.

B Double and a Crane have crashed on the M1 north of Sydney. Road is closed at the moment.

Abbott said something but nah….. I kind of have a rule about previous PM’s having an opinion. Cue rage from Abbott fans.

Bankstown Hospital in another infant mishap.

Anthony Mundine….Dear Reader, we regret to inform you that the MNW has done a Trump on Mundine. He has been banned from ever appearing in the wrap again. Oh and he had a Green Card……Danny Green…..(see what I did there). Personally I think Mundine is a racist. (well that should get some comments). For the record he has called the National Anthem racist…..yep….Australians ALL let us rejoice for we are young and free….So not inclusive apparently.

Three year old boy found wandering in Melbourne. Unable to tell police his parent’s name.

A tree at Heathcoate Highschool has dropped a branch onto 7 school girls – four of them ended up in hospital.

A man has died hours after the Today Show gave him a ring to marry his sweetheart….He had cancer.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

Trump rang PM Bernie. Unfortunately Bernie is with Vodaphone so he didn’t hear anything Trump said…..long story short….we are now the 53rd State of America and NZ is being moved to just east of Chile.

Ha ha so after I wrote that last news point….I then saw a headline…..Calls for NZ summer break to be moved…..yep to Chile…..Gold.

A mosque shooting in Quebec, Canada has killed 6 people and injured 10 others. See Pic.

Rogue wave destroys ground floor of an LA restaurant.

Beckham’s renew their wedding vows.

A father in Germany, looking for his missing teenage kids has found their bodies and those of their four friends in a shed – where they went for a party….it looks like a gas heater leaked and killed them all – but that is still unconfirmed.

Trump travel ban causes chaos.

Wall Street down 165 points.

Fact of the Day: Farting helps reduce high blood pressure and is good for your health.

Have a windy day.

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