23rd February 2017 Morning News Wrap

goanna_splash

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

Two WA men who bashed a roo to death with iron bars have been sentenced to a year in prison.

A young girl wearing a school hat has almost been strangled by the cord….which has triggered a ban on all school hats with cords.

Coca Cola is pulling out of South Australia but is increasing its production at its Queensland and WA plants. Mmmmmm coke.

Karen Ristevski’s husband the main suspect in her murder.

Elton John adds Wollongong to Australian Tour.

Israeli PM praises the extraordinary alliance between Israel and Australia. He said “when I color a map, I color Australia and the US the same color’. He must use one of the adult coloring in books that are all the rage at the moment. Good for him.

700 statements have been collected against Tialeigh Palmer’s foster brother, as he appears in court.

A Corrimal High School teacher has been charged and denied bail over sex with a 17 year old student.

Target Warrawong has apologized to a mum who bought boots for her 3 year old daughter only to find a needle in them.

Grotesque scenes as burnt, frozen dogs found at Sydney property.

The French waitress who daringly pulled a Goanna out of an Aussie Café now says that she thought it was a dog….Should have gone to Specsavers.

‘They were doing what they love’ says the sister of one of the Texans killed in the Melbourne Plane crash…..can I just say….I always think that’s a totally dumb thing to say….Dead is dead. Being killed doing something you love sucks just as much as being killed mowing the lawn. When I die, I want my sister to remark…..He probably shouldn’t have tried to blow out the 100 candles on his cake.

An 87 year old who died in the US, has used her obituary to swipe at Trump. It said…loyal democrat Elizabeth Smith, 87, died on Feb 13, escaping the brunt of Trump’s reign. Oh well at least she died doing what she loved (escaping).

Iceland’s President pledges to ban Pineapple on Pizza. Loser. He is fruitest.

Life Expectancy to break 90.

Wall Street up 15 points.

Hosting the Olympics is not as popular as it used to be. The race to host the 2024 Olympics is down to two countries.

Tension as Ecuador poll result delayed.

Fact of the Day: Bananas do not grow on trees. Rather, they grow from a root structure that produces an above ground stem. The plant is specifically classified as an arborescent (tree-like) perennial herb; in fact, it is the largest herbaceous flowering plant. The banana plant being an herb is that the banana itself is a berry.

Enjoy your Thursday.

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