1st April 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

Two women have been killed in the aftermath of Cyclone Debbie.

Queensland residents fume over BP selling a slab of bottled water for $44 in a Cyclone Zone.

World Champion Cyclist killed in a Sydney to Perth cycling race.

Melbourne High School bans girls from wearing Braids…..not sure why….probably too gender specific.

Islamic radicals are apparently taking over NSW jails. But Islam is a religion of Peace according to all Western World leaders after every terrorist attack ever, so we can all assume there are going to be acts of kindness breaking out everywhere in prisons across the nation. Ha Ha I said breaking out. See what I did there?

Bourke St mall massacre driver charged with the 6th murder. Good

Headlines reads ‘Cowboys down South Sydney…not even Cyclone Debbie could help the bunnies’. Dumb journalists. Cyclone Debbie has created havoc so let’s keep it real and not make lite of it.

Apparently Snickers is the healthiest chocolate bar on the market….which is lucky as ‘you are not you when you are hungry’…..Please keep all bars away from PM Bernie as we really don’t want him to be himself at all. Keep him hungry I say.

Two Spanish grandmothers got surprised when they were told they were growing Marijuana….yeah surprised…..sounds like they were doing a little more with the special ‘broccoli’ than steaming it. On second thoughts….maybe they were steaming it.

The Staff at the Morning News Wrap do not condone the smoking of drugs, in Spain or anywhere.

Biker riders in Indonesia claim to have caught the rare Indonesian Pigmy man on camera. I have watched the clip and I suggest it is merely Grumpy from Snow White’s posse.

From the file of WHAT THE HELL????? The son of a wealthy businessman in Mexico has been found not guilty of rape because ‘he didn’t enjoy it’. Oh wait….he is rich….ok got.

Family of four killed in a light plane crash in the US. They were travelling home from a family holiday.

5 people have also been killed in a Helicopter crash in Northern England.

Trump announces his wife is pregnant.

Images released by the FBO show devastation of Pentagon 9/11 attacks. Yeah but you still can’t see the plane that crashed and then magically disappeared…David Copperfield would be so proud.

Oh look a squirrel.

Former South Korean President in custody.

Japan kills 333 Minke Whales in Antarctica.

Have a great Saturday. Unless you are in England…then good night.

Oh and look at the date and then decide which news story is date related

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1 Response to 1st April 2017 Morning News Wrap

  1. Adrian Gallagher says:

    “Melbourne High School bans girls from wearing Braids…..not sure why….probably too gender specific”

    Maybe a follow up headline should be “Students taught that they don’t have to obey rules if they don’t want to” after “School will allow black students to keep hair braids after ‘ban’ furore” (https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2017/mar/31/melbourne-school-allows-black-students-to-keep-braids-after-furore)

    And people wonder why we have behavioural problems and so many kids in trouble with the law.


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