22nd June 2017 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

Queensland played an outstanding game last night in the State of Origin pretty much securing the series win as the next game is a mere formality, based on history and current skill set differences between the two state teams.

 

Rebel Wilson says any money she gets from her law suit will go to charity.

 

Adelaide woman has been charged with biting a waitress….guess she was still hungry.

 

NSW police allowed new shoot to kill powers. Probably won’t argue next time I get pulled over for speeding.

 

A Victorian farmer has given his strangled dog CPR to save his life.

 

Tropical Storm Cindy batters US Gulf Coast.

 

Uber CEO resigns. Drives himself home.

 

Scientists unearth fossil of a enormous dinosaur. They found Clive Palmer???? Well they are doing better that the QLD Supreme Court.

 

Giant Squid wraps tentacles around paddle boarder off the coast of South Africa. See Pic.

 

ISIS blows up landmark al-nuri mosque in military.

 

Russian UN diplomat Voronkoc becomes first UN Counter Terrorism chief…that will solve the problem as the UN has an awesome track record of effective programs and interventions (#insertcycnicaltone).

 

Pentagon wasted $93 million buying forest camouflage gear for desert dwelling Afghan army. How can the Pentagon be this dumb?

 

The American parents of a 4 year old are suing their child care centre because their kid was bound up in duct tape. Yeah but they should have had some warning when the child care centre was called the Magyver Child Centre. He does everything with duct tape.

 

Michigan Airport closed after a cop was stabbed in the neck in a possible terror related attack.

 

One of the hottest June days on record has the English remarking…’I say old chap it sure is a little warm’. Anyway it’s a huge 35….so spring weather for an Aussie lol.

 

Over 100 people killed during heavy fighting in Central Africa.

 

The Queen has delivered her speech at the opening of the new UK Parliament. What she should have done is used titles from the rock group Queen in her speech…..So when it comes to Brexit: I want it all and I want it now….When it comes to a message to terrorists: We are the Champions of the World. About the Labor opposition loss at the recent election: Another One Bites the Dust. About the affection the UK has for the Queen: A Crazy little thing call Love. About the concern whether Teresa May will still lead the Govt: Don’t stop me Now. The Queen’s opinion of Camilla: Killer Queen. The usefulness of the BBC: Radio Ga Ga.

 

That will do…Did you notice I didn’t mention the Queen song….Fat Bottomed Girls You Make the Rocking World Go Round….Seemed so not politically correct.

 

OH I can’t help it…..Would have been perfect if the Queen mentioned Rebel Wilson.

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