11th September 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

Animal lovers are calling for a tax on bacon similar to the excise on Tobacco and Alcohol. Apparently because it causes cancer….But the fact that they are animal lovers suggests a different motive…..and here is a question for these animal lovers….if pigs aren’t meant to be eaten why do they taste like bacon?

 

Hey Animal Lovers….if you love animals so much why do you insist on only eating their food?

 

Academics have called for Australians to start eating more Kangaroo so they aren’t killed for no reason…here are two thoughts….I don’t think the Roos care why they are killed…..whatever the reason, they are dead…..and the second thought is, if they tasted like bacon more Aussies would eat them.

 

Irma slams into Florida.

 

A Florida Sheriff has had to remind residents that shooting the Hurricane won’t make it go away…..I guess these are the same type of people who call for a tax on Bacon. For the record…..about 50,000 people opened fire on the Hurricane…..Yep no issues there. Probably because they thought they were being cops and there were black clouds…..ouch….well that escalated quickly.

 

A Florida woman has had to deliver her own baby after she was trapped in her home….Paramedics talked her through the process…..and she eats Bacon.

 

Kim Jong Un celebrates ‘success of nuclear test’ with a banquet…..no Bacon served.

 

A Victorian man has drowned helping a dad save his four kids caught in a rip on Wollongong City Beach.

 

Surfer attacked by a shark off a beach at Byron Bay. Apparently humans taste like bacon.

 

Woman’s body found in a Melbourne House.

 

Protestors in the UK demand exit from Brexit. So European bacon can be freely available in the UK.

 

Level of devastation after the Mexican earthquake still unfolding.

 

Manchester Arena reopens months after the terrorist attack.

 

Country Music Singer Troy Gentry has died in a helicopter crash….giving his band members material for new songs…….Oh wait…that’s Blues singers. Sorry country music fans…..yes I am talking to both of you.

 

Channel Ten has been bought out by CBS…..I think I may have reported on this before. Just so excited that The Project may be axed.

 

Study reveals men become boring at 39….Yeah because their wives are nagging them to give up bacon.

 

The actor Kevin Bacon is not in the news today.
North Korea has exported $270 million worth illegal goods so far this year….none of this was bacon.

 

So apparently the Pope has got a bruise from the Popemobile. From now on he is going to be strapped in by a safety rope…..And he will forever be known as Pope on a Rope…..Well the first half of this story was true…..so Bacon.

 

That’s all.

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