18th September 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:
 
Ibrahim brothers extradited from Dubai after being arrested for drug smuggling….well that will wreck a Dubai holiday.
 
A 16 year old girl has been traumatized by three clowns in Perth…the girl was pushed and scratched.
 
Australia crashes out of the Davis Cup.
 
Brawl breaks out at Gold Coast football final. Wait up…so there was a few punches thrown at a footy match….why is this news….lol….especially on the Gold Coast. Oh wait…it was at an AFL game…that’s not really football so that’s why.
 
Headline reads….Why some Aussies sound bogan? I know why…because they come from Victoria.
 
MNW staff upsets Victorians with the last two news stories. And so unreservedly apologize….All staff are very sorry you live in Victoria.
 
Let’s move on.
 
President Trump has had a phone call with South Korean President Moon…unfortunately UN General Secretary Banki Moon was not involved in the call because then it would have been Moon Moon Trump….which sounds like the results of a losing scratchie. If only there were three Moons you win $25,000.
 
True story…President Trump has referred to the North Korean President as Rocket Man in a tweet. So I posted Elton John’s Rocket Man for your meditation this morning on a Nuclear Asia. I actually think Trump should be code named Ground Control and South Korean President Major Tom. Then the following exchange could be heard.
Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on
Ground Control to Major Tom (ten, nine, eight, seven, six)
Commencing countdown, engines on (five, four, three)
Check ignition and may God’s love be with you (two, one, liftoff)
 
Acid thrown at America tourists in Marseilles.
 
Woman arrested in Paris after airport security scare.
 
Plane with passengers on board crashes into catering truck at Manchester Airport….should have gone to specsavers.
 
Pools of blood found on a street outside Louisiana Funeral Home…any weird comments here are wildly appropriated so I will not being saying anything about Home Delivery.
 
Petrol Bombs and tear gas in Athens at anniversary of Antifa rapper’s murder…so people were upset and crying and the police said….what is needed here is more tears….
 
A woman in the US has stabbed her boyfriend after finding him naked on top of her 12 year old daughter. He was stabbed 5 times….good.
 
A one year old boy in the US has died after his father left him in a steam filled bathroom to help his cough congestion.
 
You are now across all the major news items in the world. Go and get your Monday on.
 
 
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