11th October 2017 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

Hola.

Tim Cahill, who for the record has been around for like forever, headed a goal for the Socceroos putting them a step closer to a fourth consecutive Soccer World Cup.

Well I constantly rage about Nick Kyrgios. He is a poor representative of the great Nation of Australia. I am sorry but I want him to be decitizened. He abused an umpire at the Shanghi Masters and quit the game and walked off. At what point does Tennis Australia say NO NO NO! He literally needs to be voted off the island (that’s a Facebook reference that only my long term Facebook friends will get).

A huge fire has torn through a Gold Coast home last inhabited by a dozen squatters.

A mum blogger has been shamed on social media….she took a pic of her child and her supermarket trolley and everyone raged about anything from the fact that bread was at the bottom of the trolley to the fact that she had two minute noodles and piklets…Here are two thoughts…. (ha ha two minute thoughts….just add hot water….Oh I am in hot water….keep reading). You have to be wise what you post on Social Media…Secondly seriously people need to get a life….I think if you are analyzing the grocery packing ability of a complete stranger and making comments about it…YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE….buy a plane ticket…fly somewhere….explore the world….

Apparently its harder to fall a sleep as you get older….Not if you ask Grandpa Simpson….No that’s not my grandfather silly…think Bart and Lisa. I didn’t know my Grandfather on my Dad’s side…he died two weeks before my elder sister was born….But she is not on social media so has she really ever eaten a meal or taken a photo of herself…?Well that escalated quickly….If you know her don’t tell her I mentioned her on Social Media….she works for a super secret division of ASIO. Just kidding.

Melbourne mum killed in a hit and run.

Snake Catcher hunts a Red Bellied Black snake in Kiama Downs after it bit and killed a family pet. I am guessing the Pet was not a snake.

For regular readers of the MNW have you noticed a lack of stories about The Jicklier…?that’s the NSW premier for the Newbies…..she seems very quiet…is she the girl version of PM Bernie? Girl Bernie…..Do we have a new code…..Come on People pay attention.

ARIA Nominations revealed….Oh goodie, I have had sleepless nights in anticipation. Girl Bernie is not on the list…..have we being paying attention….sounds like a TV show using some guy who once was in a car ad. Anyone still with me here….what is his name…..No not Bernie silly….And no not girl Bernie and not Sam….Come on people have you not being paying attention….lol?

Wait up can you put a question mark after an lol. What is the social convention here? Can you laugh with an upward inflexion? Can you ask a question with a giggle? What if you didn’t actually Laugh Out Loud but just internalized the LOL? Does that change things? Is there such a thing as LLOL….Liver Laughing Out Loud….or does that discriminate against other body parts? Should all organs being included…..BOLOL. Body Organs Laughing Out Loud….Am I over thinking LOL whilst in Chile?

Queensland family finds meat laced with poison in their backyard.

Ten people have been killed and thousands flee as wildfires rip through California Wine Country. 1500 homes have been burnt down. See Pic.

Russian General says North Korea is still five years away from being able to Nuke a US City.

OPEC wants to cut production to force up oil prices.

6.3 quake shakes north Chile…..No movement in Valparaiso according to the Morning News Wrap Staff who are on the ground bringing you the news direct from south of the quake zone.

Dr Seuss is racist apparently. Yeah but I bet he includes Livers in his writings…. A liver had a sliver in his quiver whilst crossing a river…but I am a bit of a kidder.

The Cat in the Hat….you got nothing on the liver crossing a river with a sliver in his quiver.

And on that note….Welcome to today may I say from a guy called Ray….I need to Stop….on top of a mop whilst running from a cop…..Just no.

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