25th October 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:


A Queensland teen girl has become the latest victim of one of Australia’s worst flu seasons on record.


The Aussie woman shot and murdered in Nairobi in what appeared to be a bungled robbery, was murdered by her estranged husband. The man has now been arrested.


Brisbane dad stabbed to death outside his home.


A 21 year old woman has been thrown 30 metres after her car crashed on the Mornington Peninsula. She was not wearing a seat belt.


The Lonely Planet has ranked Canberra as the world’s third best city….these guys are seriously kidding themselves. Sorry Canberra readers but you do not live in the third best city in the world…. This is what happens when hipsters from the Lonely Planet tie their man bun way too tight as they sip their African imported coffee in cups that recycle in 7 minutes so they need to hurry and therefore they make hurried and stupid decisions.


The Australian Federal Police are apparently too busy guarding PM Bernie’s house to fight crime…..so does this mean there are only 4 AFP policemen?


A runaway garbage truck has crashed into a shop in New York called a beautiful mess…this is way too easy but its early so let me help you…..the crash caused a beautiful mess.


Police cars rammed by stolen ute in Brisbane McDonald’s car park.


AWU raids linked to Bill Shorten’s tenure as AWU President to be challenge in court.


Robert Irwin arrives on scotoer to capture a large snake threatening a woman at Australia Zoo…..hey wait up….this woman, a tourist goes to Australia zoo to see Australian wildlife and when she sees some she freaks out. Puzzling.


Man crushed to death by roller at a rural work site in Victoria.


Wall Street up 167 points.


NZ govt is no longer for sale. They are blocking foreigners from buying land….Last night I bought the whole of the south Island off Ebay for $75. Just sayin.


13 day old baby dies after being slapped, bitten and suffocated by the mother’s heroin addicted boyfriend, while she just sat and watched.


China grows rice in salt water to feed 200 million.


Japanese PM hails landslide victory in snap election. I am thinking that for a country prone to earthquakes…..describing anything as a landslide is insensitive.


And on that note hope you have an amazing Wednesday.

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