16th January 2018 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-

 

Ok lets start with the tough guy man of the year award…..Cause this guy gets it….A Victorian farmer has broken his neck but was away from help so he rode his motorbike back to his house….but as his neck was broken it wouldn’t support his head so he held it in place by holding his head by the hair – as he rode…..Ok this guy makes Chuck Norris look like an Australian Men’s Tennis Player.

 

A man who was out on bail and who caused a double fatality on Christmas Day has had his bail revoked. Well knock me down and slap me silly…..who is this rogue magistrate who would dare revoke someone’s bail….Did this magistrate not get the email that the court system in Australia was to roll over and totally capitulate to the criminals of our nation. Well whoever this rogue Magistrate was…..I am voting she become our next Prime Minister.

 

Sneak Peak of Australia Day celebrations around Sydney are in the media this morning….without even a single glimpse of Pat Cash…..Wow…you mean Australia Day survived Pat Cash boycotting it.

 

Back to work for Politicians today. Welcome back PM Bernie. I am looking forward to a year ahead of your policies and ideas being implemented to the benefit of our great nation. Ha ha, I am kidding. I don’t want to put too much pressure on you.

 

A teenager traumatised by nothing in Melbourne has called for the members of the nothing happening here to be sent back to their country that has nothing to do with Sudan.

 

Research shows Baby Brain is a thing.

 

Chaotic scenes in Geelong yesterday morning when a truck carrying live chickens rolled over. See Pic.

 

B Double Truck crash on the M1 resulted in a massive fire and the M1 being closed in both directions. But in a beautiful statement from a local firey….’the Fire Investigation Team on are the scene Investigating’. Phew….Because if the Fire Investigation Team were on the scene playing Korean Pop Karoke….then that would be just plain weird and quietly frankly well outside their scope of operations.

 

70% of Australians don’t have savings to last without a wage for longer than a month.

 

Car left hanging from the first story of a Dental Surgery in California. It has been removed in a delicate operation.

 

Iranian tanker that collided and caught fire a week ago in the South China sea, has finally sunk. In the last few minutes of the oil fire, flames were reaching 1 kilometre into the air.

 

The floor of the Indonesian Stock Exchange has collapsed. No I am not talking about the shares…..the actual floor of the building collapsed – around 12 people have been injured.

 

The Cranberries Singer Dolores O’Riordan has died.

 

Wall Street up 228 points.

 

Have a super Tuesday.

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