15th February 2018 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-

 

Scotty James wins a bronze medal at the Half Pipe at the Winter Olympics. See Pic.

 

Queensland police have shot a 16 year old boy after he lunged at them with a knife in the Brisbane suburb of Springfield.

 

A mum has drowned at a Rockhampton beach. Her 5 year old son was taken to hospital as he had got into trouble in the water too.

 

Authorities are searching for a motorcyclist after he robbed an Armaguard truck in Melbourne. I wonder what he stole? Maybe he stole Barnaby Joyce’s integrity, maybe he stole our Prime Minister’s leadership ability, maybe he stole Prince William’s hairline, maybe he stole NSW’s Premier, maybe he stole all decent programing from Commercial Television, maybe he stole the gonads from Australia’s court system, maybe he stole half of the pipe that was in the Winter Olympics so there was only a half pipe left, maybe he stole Anthony Mundine….Ok he can keep that last one.

 

The teen driver who killed a Priest in Sydney says he wishes he was him who lost his life.

 

A female Muslim preacher has declared Valentine’s Day as immoral. Let’s take a guess who didn’t get any roses.

 

A Queensland University has had an outbreak of Gastro during O week. Meaning that all the new students are well orientated with the toilets. It also means that O Week will forever be known as ‘O MY WHERE IS THE TOILET WEEK’….no wait…..they already know ha ha.

 

A garbage truck driver has had a medical incident and then sped and crashed into a building in Brisbane. The driver died.

 

Princess Mary’s father in law dies of dementia.

 

A baby has been born in Memphis with a bullet wound after its mother was shot in a road rage incident.

 

Headline reads ‘Does my vagina look normal?’ Hey I need some help here people. I can’t find my vagina to see if it looks normal. Any ideas? Maybe the fact that its hiding may suggest its not normal. Should I be worried?

 

A new income study has debunked the myth that money can’t buy happiness….finally science has proved something I already knew….cause the more money I have the happier I am……

 

Severe cyclone in Tonga has caused widespread damage including flattening the nation’s 100 year old parliament building.

 

Have an amazing Thursday.

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