16th February 2018 Morning News Wrap

Snickers-broken

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-

 

Passengers stuck in their cabins after violence breaks out between two groups on a cruise around the South Pacific.

 

Barnaby Joyce takes personal leave and when this was announced in Parliament the Opposition jeered the announcement. And then we wonder why there is a bullying issue in our nation. Yes Joyce did the wrong thing but should he then bullied by the nation….Well Australia and the ALP says a very clear yes. Sure a 14 year old girl commits suicide due to bullying and we are all outraged but then so many people participate in the bullying in the workplace of a man who made some wrong choices. Wake up Australia. I suggested Joyce will be bullied from office….Wait for the resignation in Ten days. And we wonder why we have a problem.

 

PM Bernie has come out strongly and said that Politicians ‘Should not have sexual relations with their staff’.  I can’t help but remember President Bill Clinton categorically stating that ‘I did not have sexual relations with that women’. And in an unrelated comment Clinton smoked Cuban Cigars….which I did note was not banned in PM Bernie’s no sex statement.

 

There are some questions around how the no sex ban will be enforced. I am suggesting Go Pros on the heads of all Politicians and then at the same time the 12 year old boy in me snickers at the idea of a Go Pro…..think for a minute like a 12 year old boy. See Pic.

 

Police search for a missing man in the Brisbane River.

 

Queensland man rushing to get the washing off the line injured by lightning. Women please take note…this is why men should never be asked to get washing off the line.

 

MNW editor upsets people who are currently identify as women for apparent sexists comments about washing….But said editor is identifying this morning as a woman so said women are attacking one of their own.

 

Headline reads ‘ Aussie Golden Girl Lydia Lassila crashes in bitter end to long career.’ Which was a comment about the Winter Olympics…..But I can’t help but think, if she crashed out….probably not a ‘Golden Girl’.

 

Headline reads ‘The secret of a successful poo transplant’…..Apparently the story is about how to do a poo…..really….we need to tell people now….maybe they need to talk to the ALP….they  have thrown so much crap toward Barnaby Joyce in the last week that they are clearly experts in pooing.

 

Melbourne police off a street in the CBD after they discovered a suspicious package. Turned out to be a whole stack of poo from the ALP.

 

 

The teen who killed 17 people in the Florida school shooting had a posted a YouTube video last year saying he was going to a be a professional school shooter. He also chose Valentines Day to commit his act as he had had troubles with girls. This was the worst school shooting in over 5 years.

 

Huge sink hole swallows a street in Rome. So the advice When in Rome do as the Romans do….probably isn’t applicable here.

 

Wall Street up 303 points.

 

That will do today….If you are planning on undergoing a poo transplant today…I wish you well.

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