10th March 2018 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:-
Disaster situation declared in North Queensland. Global Care at this stage is unable to make contact with its operatives in the area and is unable to get through due to road closures.
Football games happened. The Editorial Policy on sport is that generally sport isn’t reported on unless a sportsman punches a shark, breaks the kneecaps of an opponent or its women’s beach volleyball. Relax….I am kidding on that last one.
To be sure, to be sure, to be sure….A group of Irish gypsy mothers have scammed Brisbane business and trashed four new apartment. You read that first bit in an Irish Accent didn’t you….And apparently they used potatoes to clog toilets…..so stereotypical. Potatoes!!!
Sydney Tower to reopen.
People are rallying behind a beloved Principal who was sacked from a Melbourne boy’s school because he trimmed a boy’s hair on photo day. Agree or Disagree?
Jessica Rowe quits Studio Ten before she was sacked.
A woman has been found dead in a home and a suspect, who was known to the woman, has been arrested. Bet it was her partner or ex partner….when is the killing of women going to stop?
The husband of a murdered woman in a rural property near Perth has been charged with her murder. Clearly not yet!
Police to flood Melbourne CBD during the Moombe Festival. I think this is the festival of mass mooning. Anyone care to clarify?
Trump to meet Rocket Man. I assume with Elton John so there are no copyright issues.
First glimpses of Disney’s Star Wars Land revealed. The force is strong with this one.
Gunman takes 3 hostages at a Veteran’s home in LA.
Robbers in the Crimea answered an ad where a couple were selling a car….they arrived shot the parents, stole the car and drove it into a lake with the couple’s four year old girl in the car. So tragic.
The world’s top 50 most dangerous cities in the world have been released….Didn’t open the story but I bet Melbourne made it into the list. Relax Melbourne people I am kidding. (Hey rest of Australia I am not really kidding: I wrote that last message in ink that is invisible in to people south of Albury). Just young men going for a walk people.
Putin admits to lying to Michelle Obama. (Why is this news?)
A horse has been ridden into a Florida Nightclub by a bikini clad lady….the horse then reacted to the lights and noise (as they do) and bucked and threw the rider off (as they do)…outrage now on social media re animal abuse (as they do). But let’s give this woman the benefit of the doubt….maybe she had just ridden from Texas to Florida and was excited about her Florida holiday and unfortunately got lost and turned left when she should have turned right and so ended up in a nightclub that spooked the poor Texan horse.
Smoking kills 3000 people a year in the UAE.
Paris Museum opens its doors to art loving nudists and creeps who just want to perve on art loving nude chicks. Apparently, according to the report the demand is huge….So apparently size does matter in this instance. I have so many other comments like I hope the art is….no I can’t….but they were funny comments. Sorry I had to censor myself this morning.
There is a news report about a baby that was swapped at birth 40 years ago….Do you ever wonder if you were swapped a birth…I personally think I am the older brother of Ed Sheeran and Prince Harry….Ok if I am being super serious….I am the older brother of Harry Potter….See my Graduation Pic.
Have a good Sabado (Saturday in Spanish)….I personally am off to Hogwarts.
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