2nd April 2018 Morning News Wrap

Chris.jpg

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the news:-

 

A missing toddler has been after going missing from his family’s camp site near Mudgee….He had walked 5kms and apparently had approached a Kangaroo who he hoped would take him home…..Now see when I was growing up there was a Kangaroo called Skippy who would have indeed saved the little boy….but in this era of being politically correct, we have got rid of all the Kangaroos that can understand English….and don’t even get me started on Lassie…..The point of the story is, the little guy was found safe…..no thanks to the deadbeat PC roos who did nothing.

 

A teen has been arrested after a 24 year old fell to his death from a Cairn’s Balcony.

 

Horror car crash in Kakadu…..3 killed and 4 severely injured.

 

Former Howard Government Minister Jocelyn Newman dies.

 

Needles found at the Commonwealth Games Village…..probably was just some of those pens that look like needles.  THEY WERE JUST TAKING NOTES PEOPLE.

 

Sydney man charged with 13 offences after an 8 car pile up in Western Sydney killed an Uber passenger and injured 4 others.

 

A man has been charged after a Brisbane policeman was injured in a hit and run.

 

Vision has emerged of a Perth teacher backing away from a brawl in a school instead of stepping in and breaking it up.

 

Headline Reads….Is Chocolate a Health Food…..Well Der….Yes. As is Bacon, Cheese, KFC and Diet Coke. Hey you don’t get to look like me by eating celery.

 

Warning Issued after a gas leak at a Milk Factory in Melbourne……Isn’t a cow a milk factory?…..Oh so a cow farted….that must have been what that story was about.

 

A man has drowned off the coast of Windang.

 

A Freemantle man is fighting for life in a Phuket Hospital after a Scooter crash….Here is my advice…..Don’t ride Scooters in Asian Countries.

 

A woman in a Perth Prison had to give birth by herself and without pain relief after guards couldn’t get her door open. Yet the baby ‘got her door’ open….oh that’s a bad comment.

 

A church in England has misspelt their Easter Message and so Chris is Risen. Go Chris…..See Pic.

 

Stephen Hawking’s funeral has happened.

 

That Chinese Satellite that is going to crash to earth is about to actually crash in the next few hours. Better get right with Chris just in case the satellite hits you.

 

Princess Mary might soon be a Queen.

 

They should name a cruise ship after her….The Queen Mary……nah that doesn’t work.

 

Have a great day…….Wait up….just saw there is an avalanche in the Swiss Alps. Three people have been killed.

 

Also just saw that the Pope led the masses in Mass….Saw an interview the other day where the Pope said there is no Hell. Nope Pope Jesus Is our only Hope. Or Chris if you are English.

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