3rd July 2017 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:


Porn watching at epidemic levels amongst 13 year old teen boys in Oz.


Judah Kelly wins the Voice….no idea who he is but apparently someone cares.


Former Brisbane Teacher Jeff Horn beats Manny Pacquiao in a boxing match…..It’s the Australian version of Rocky…..ADRIAN!!!


Young woman in Brisbane has been found in a flat with head to toe injuries.


PM Bernie to announce 10,000 jobs for young people on the dole…..its an internship concept.


PM Bernie also celebrated a year since he won the Federal Election….ok let’s list all the great achievements in this last year….


Anyway moving on.


Pope sacks a Cardinal.


Ancient tower of Aztec skulls found under Mexico City.


21 killed as suicide bomber hits Damascus.


Report says that the number of police shootings in the US will hit 1000 by the end of the year.


Qatar rejects Arab State’s Ultimatum.


16 injured in a massive brawl between African Migrants in Calais.


Italian murderer ‘Johnny the Gypsy’ escapes prison for the 4th times…..Slippery little sucker.


USS George Bush docks off Israel’s shore for the first time in 17 years…..


28 injured in Little Rock nightclub shooting.


An 11 year old boy carrying a shotgun has shot at an attacking bear in Alaska saving his family. Imagine the news in the bear world. Father bear shot at when he was out innocently shopping for food.


Budget Airline wants to remove seats and having standing room only.


Massive gas explosion in China has killed 8 and injured 35.


Teen cancer survivor in the US banned from Prom because she missed so much school.


Welcome to Monday.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

1st July 2017 Morning News Wrap



M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:


Happy New Financial Year.


Talks with Cricket Australia and the Players has broken down and as the deadline has passed all cricketers are now technically unemployed and for the first time in 100 years, Australia officially has no national cricket team.


A Melbourne school bans balls…..and at the same time….aren’t we trying to get kids outside to play?


A Muslim woman has been fined $250,000 for failing to stand for a judge 9 times whilst she was standing trial in a NSW court.


A man in Tasmania has been arrested after trying to ram police cars.


A man is fighting for his life after being set alight in a Factory in Melbourne by two attackers.


Brazilian President under pressure as union protests bring country to a standstill.


6 people injured when a gunman opened fire at the Bronx Hospital in New York. The gunman then shot and killed himself.


Police arrest a machete wielding man near a Justin Beiber concert in Cardiff.


Debt and the high cost of Childcare has driven US fertility rates to an all time low.


All the fountains in Rome have dried up due to the heatwave and drought across the country.


Moscow hit with the ‘downpour of the century’.


11 year old British boy has a higher IQ than Eistein and Stephen Hawking. I wonder if his name is Sheldon.


Also in the UK, a man has been jailed for slapping a Muslim teen with a slice of bacon.


43 of the 51 Maccas stores in New Deli have closed due the operators not having the right licenses.


A little girl has been killed and her dad badly injured when a house boat ran over them as they swam in a river in Texas.


Massive sinkhole swallows a car in the US. See Pic.


Have a super awesome Saturday.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

29th June 2017 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:


A leading Adelaide Businessmen was flying a mother and daughter to Adelaide for medical treatment when their angel flight plane crashed, killing all three on board.


Bashed international student ready to flee Australia.


Melbourne Cup winner Michelle Payne has been stood down after testing positive to a banned substance.


A Prisoner in a high vis vest has escaped from Long Bay Jail…..guess the vest isn’t that ‘High Vis’ after all seeing they can’t find him.


NSW Greens Senator Lee Rhiannon has been suspended from the Green’s Party Room. Good.


The Victorian Heart Surgeon who was punched in the lobby of a hospital when he asked a man to stop smoking a month ago, has died.


Six police have been charged with manslaughter in England for the Hillsborough soccer disaster in 1989. See Pic. I don’t think that I agree with these charges being laid 30 years after the event. What do you think?


US woman charged after giving birth to 11 year old boy’s baby,


Pope Francis calls on businesses to sack older people and employ young people…..What a dumb thing to say….older people need work too and its already hard enough for them to get a job due to their age.


Wall Street up 143 points.


A South Korean company is starting to sell canned mountain air.


A study has found that Twitter can detect riots well before the police are ever called.


The ransonware attack around the world may be a smokescreen for a potentially larger attack.


CIA can hack and track windows devices via their wifi connections.


Americans are increasingly unhappy with their lack of freedoms as a result of all the changes that have been made post 911.


Facebook reaches 2 billion users.


Creator of the Paddington Bear has died.


And on that note…have a super Thursday. Be kind to someone.



Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

28th June 2017 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:


Chaos across the UK and Europe as hackers take down giant companies. We need Agent 99 to fight Chaos….


A Gold Coast husband has returned home from shopping to find his wife, sister in law and mother in law all dead in a trio suicide pact.


Australia Post names a woman as the new CEO and pays her less than 50% of what her male predecessor was earning…..reinforcing the sterotype that women are willing to work for less than men.


Ugliest Dog for 2017 named. No one cares.


Man breaks the record for balancing a lawn mower on this chin…..I don’t mow lawns but I think he is doing it wrong.


Coca-Cola becomes the new fake tan alternative…..the sweet sweet nectar of the gods.


A dead kangaroo has been found in Melbourne draped in a Leopard Skin and holding an empty bottle of Ouza. Outcry over the Roo being killed…..but hear me out….I am offering an alternative prequel to this story….maybe the roo just partied way too hard and can’t handle his alcohol. Oh and I noticed no one is asking after the poor leopard.


Fast food deliveries to jailed youth thugs have been banned in Victoria……why was this even allowed in the first place?


A woman riding a Melbourne Tram to work has found herself sitting opposite the Prime Minister of Australia….her reaction…ignore him and leave her head phones on….Internet went into meltdown over the pic of the incident….See Pic…Maybe this photo shows the level of engagement the Australian Population feel toward PM Bernie. If I was one of the Coalition Govt Powerbrokers….this pic would alarm me.


New words in the Oxford Dictionary…..Totes amazeballs, Bazinga, covfefe….just kidding but my words were better than the actual real ones…Chana Dal, Doenjang, hygge and zyzzyva….see I told you.


Pompeii like discovery made in Rome during metro construction…..I saw that movie and they all die in the end….who would have seen that coming?


Serene Williams has told a reporter to ‘Respect my privacy, I am having a baby’ when asked a question….this on the same day she posed naked for Vanity Fair….Clearly she is really protecting her own privacy…..


Nigerian University builds a trench to stop Boko Haram suicide bombers.


A baby in the US has been born that is the size of a 5 month old. The mother released a statement after the birth…..ouch!


The Queen earns 82 million pounds a year.


Bear Attacks suspends Alaskan race…..apparently as they were singing ‘There’s a bear in there’, there actually really was. Remember where that song comes from?


And on that note….Have a wacky Wednesday.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

27th June 2017 Morning News Wrap



M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

Man arrested in Queensland with a $5 million Casino Debt.

One of Australia’s most wanted men caught after two years on the run.

Funeral for the Aussie Nurse killed on London Bridge was held yesterday.

Headline reads ‘The disgusting food that needs to stop being a thing’. I didn’t open the story but here is my list of things that I am sure should not be eaten as it is against nature….Brussels Sprouts, Choko, Cabbage, Tofu, and Balut and if you don’t know what Balut is then don’t Google it. (Trust me)

PM Bernie has boosted funding for Victoria’s anti-gang police squad:- it equals one whole extra officer….I am sure that will make a HUGE difference.

Roxy Jacenko and Oliver Curtis…..nothing nothing nothing. HEY JOURNALISTS OF AUSTRALIA….No one cares.

Russian Sub test fires and ICBM across Asia.

22 million Americans have lost health insurance as the Obama Care package is repealed…I am not sure of whether Obama Care was good or bad….Any of my American friends want to make a comment and tell us a little about it?

Judge orders remains of Salvador Dali to be exhumed for a paternity test…. He will look worst than a melted clock. (that’s an art joke).

Strip show at a notorious South African prison has sparked outraged and now 13 officers have been suspended. Ha ha suspended….read suspenders….Just that’s where my brain went.

Russians name Stalin as ‘most outstanding’ world figure…Putin ties for second….And I bet the judging panel are now imprisoned by the Gulag in Siberia labor camps.

Arkansas prisoner captured after being on the run after 32 years on the run.

US Supreme Court to hear appeal of a baker who was successfully sued for refusing to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple. Either way this case will have significant ramifications for Christian Businesses.

8 foot shark terrifies holiday makers in Mallorca. See Pic.

Facebook to start producing its own TV shows. Can’t be any worse than the drivel commercial stations serve up to the masses to brainwash them each evening….like The Project.

Supreme Court reinstates some parts of Trump’s Travel Ban.

Saudis thwart suicide bomber targeting Islam’s holiest site.

Wall Street down 14 points.

Have a super Tuesday.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

24th June 2017 Morning News Wrap


M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

Woman hit and killed by a train in Melbourne.

Six people treated for suspected drug overdose at a Sydney nightclub.

Queensland car dealer foils drug affected car jacker’s plot.

Man with a 100 year driving ban has been found driving in Victoria.

South Australian State Government has put a levy on the big banks.

Sacked ABC Journalist has called for Australia to become an Arab Dictatorship.

Concrete bollards have been put up in sites in Sydney and Melbourne in an Anti Terrorism move.

Three people have been killed near Innisfail after a truck and mini bus collided.

Police considering manslaughter charges in relation to the Grenfell fire in London. The source of the fire has also been confirmed as a faulty Fridge. Death toll still stands at 79.

800 homes in London evacuated post the Grenfell fire.

Wall Street down 2 points.

Johnny Depp has made jokes about assassinating President Trump.

Separate Taliban blasts kill nearly 30 in Pakistan.

3 kids and 2 adults have been electrocuted at a water park in Turkey.

Cargo ship that hit a US destroyer was on auto pilot at the time.

Tornado takes the roof off a shop in the US but leaves bottles neatly stacked on the shelves….see Pic.

A third 12 year old girl in a small Canadian Community has committed suicide as part of a suicide pact that leaders fear involves up to 40 children.

Have a magnificent day.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

23rd June 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:


Schapelle Corby breaks her leg. She did it on a boogie board….just kidding.


Koalas are facing extinction in certain parts of Australia. Probably killed by drop bears.


PM Bernie gets his new Gonski package through parliament. Hey look Australia our PM did something.


New Yorker arrested in a sting operation trying to join ISIS.


Iran supplies 1000 tons of food per day to Qatar.


KKK is still active in 33 states of America.


Tornado tears through Hamburg after extreme heat wave.


Famous French fitness blogger has died when a cream canister blew up and punched her in the chest causing a heart attack.


There are 3 people killed every hour in Mexico. Murder rate at a 20 year high.


Two Bali jail break prisoners have been caught 1000 ks from Bali. Aussie guy still on the run or still in the flooded tunnel. They don’t know.


A woman in Turkey has been attacked for wearing shorts on a bus during Ramadan.


The Florida mum who filmed herself letting a snake bite her toddler won’t be charged.


Prince Philip has left hospital after two days.


There are 600 buildings in London clad with the same cladding that was on the Grenfell building.


A US Sniper has killed two IS militants that were two miles away.


Prince Harry says no one in the Royal Family want to be the next King or Queen.


Wall Street down 12 points.


Have a great Friday.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment