25th November 2017 Morning News Wrap.

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

Let’s start off the day with a good dose of media racism. 235 people have been killed in an attack on an Egyptian Mosque and there are reports of shots being fired at a London Underground station…..Which news report do you think got more air time…..the reports of shots fired…..its not even confirmed that it actually happened. No one was injured but it was London and some white people may have been hurt so that’s more important apparently than the 235 people actually killed in Egypt’s worst terror attack. See pic.

 

Court doubles Oscar Pistorious’ jail time.

 

Black Friday chaos in the US….the ugly side of western materialism.

 

Melbourne man charged with the murder of his girlfriend.

 

Queensland polls open soon. Vote early and vote often…no wait that’s Zimbabwe.

 

Headline reads ‘Snakes hidden in Queensland garden.’ Isn’t this what they always do?

 

A top university student in China has given birth to a baby in her dorm and then thrown it out the window of her 5th story apartment before returning to classes. The baby died and she is now in custody.

 

An off duty doctor has saved the lives of twins who were trapped in a car accident on a Perth Freeway with collapsed lungs.

 

Dramatic arrest as Victorian Police swoop after terror alarm raised on social media.

 

An elderly woman has been threatened with a knife in a Central Coast shopping Centre.

 

Online shoppers warned to watch out for Christmas Parcel thieves.

 

A Sydney female has been caught driving 8 times over the legal limit with a reading of .445.

 

That will do for today. Have a super Saturday. Stay safe and be kind to someone.

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24th November 2017 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

It’s Thanksgiving in the US. Normally I would ask what are you thank for…but I get the very typical for God and for my family, which is awesome….but let’s make it about where you live….What are you thank for about the town or city you live in. I am thankful for the beauty of the Gold Coast and for the Kangaroos that are occasionally on our front lawn. Now your Turn

 

Looks like Anastasia Palaszczuk will win tomorrow’s Queensland state election….Well I am not thankful for that.

 

Woman fatally shot by a man she knew after a crime spree and a series of car accidents in Melbourne.

 

A Queensland woman who was being transported to hospital for palliative care asked her paramedics if she could see the ocean one more time….so they did a detour….And good on them….see pic.

 

A woman has stumbled onto train tracks in Melbourne as a train was coming but was rescued by Police.

 

A three year old boy has been fatally run over by a tractor in Tasmania.

 

Channel Ten reporter Angela Bishop’s hubby has died of cancer aged 54.

 

Turns out Argentinian authorities picked up the sound of an explosion hours after a sub was reported missing. Families of the missing sailors have been told there is no hope.

 

A British man who killed a toddler (James Bulger) when was an 8 year old boy, has been arrested for child porn…..how evil is this person.

 

Wall Street down 64 points.

 

Rome gives its Taxi drivers a lesson in manners.

 

ISIS beheads 15 of its own soldiers in Afghanistan.

 

Myanmar and Bangladesh sign an agreement on Rohingya refuges.

 

5.6 Earthquake off the coast of Japan.

 

A woman has called for the removal of Sleeping Beauty to be removed from schools as it sends the wrong the message as the prince kisses the woman whilst she was unconscious and so therefore could not consent…..So is she suggesting that the Prince should have just left her sleeping for ever under the curse….? Oh the humanity……So what about stories where Lifesavers come across a woman who has drowned and is unconscious….no consent there….Your thoughts?

 

That will do. Cya.

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23rd November 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

Please only over 18s read the MNW this morning.

 

Victoria energy bosses fear blackout fears due to pressure on the grid as the state sizzles.

 

Pedestrian killed by Adelaide taxi.

 

Australia companies are going to offer female staff the option of the company paying for them to have their eggs frozen so they can work while they are younger and have their babies later in life…..I really don’t agree with this. There is the assumption that IVF later in life will be successful and that a pregnancy in middle age is risk free. And that work is more important than having a family. What do you think?

 

A body has been found off the coast of Newcastle and is thought to be a snorkeler taken by a shark.

 

Man fighting for life after falling from Sydney Balcony.

 

Hanson’s One Nation to scrap Queensland’s ‘nanny state’ booze laws.

 

Headline reads ‘Can sex really stretch your vagina?’ See this is an issue I have with what news website decide constitutes news….not only do they fill their newsfeeds with inane news about reality TV but they put ‘apparent news stories’ that are X rated: I personally don’t want my news about Navy crashes and bodies being found, peppered with adult orientated stories about vaginas etc. I am not a prude I just think News sites need just report the real news. Anyway I didn’t read the story as I don’t have a vagina so I don’t need to know so I can’t report whether it does or not.

 

Eight rescued and three missing after US Navy aircraft crash.

 

Wall Street down 64 points.

 

The Norway Navy is experimenting with putting huge barcodes on the sides of the ships so when they return to port they can Scandinavian.

 

Bosnian Serb commander Ratko Mladic jailed for genocide and crimes against humanity.

 

David Cassidy, star of the Partridge Family has died aged 67.

 

Mysterious ghost ship which emerged during a storm was actually a mafia brothel.

 

Pretty much all hope is lost of finding the Argentinian sub with 44 men on board.

 

Have a super Thursday.

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22nd November 2017 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

Well the Queensland Premier is raging and there is much controversy and calls for disciplinary action this morning over a dastardly act by a Labor MP…..what was this heinous act…..she warmly embrace Pauline Hanson and gave her a set of booties for the grand child that was born yesterday. Oh the humanity…..come one people why does politics have to lack the human touch….can’t we first and foremost be Humans, be Aussies and then be politicians? These will be the same politicians who want to legislate anti bullying programs for our schools but can’t model human decency. See Pic of the treachery.

 

Three men have been killed in a horror crash on the York Peninsula.

 

Melbourne Mum kicked out of a Stevie Nicks concert in the Rod Laver Arena for dancing….Oh the Humanity.
Coles unveils a new hour of quietness……please just give me an hour where I don’t have to hear down down prices are down and watch animated happy people driving ridiculously small cars chirping endlessly on about a little red quote…..I want to take your little red quote and stick it….oh the humanity.

 

Junee in lockdown as a man is on the roof of a pub with a machete claiming the prices are down down prices are down…..Sorry I am traumatized…The Junee thing is real people, just not about the prices.

 

Melbourne swelters through its hottest week in 155 years and next week the temperature is down down temperatures down.

 

Male teacher at an elite girls school in Victoria has been charged with possessing child porn.

 

African Immigrants say they were refused service at an Adelaide Maccas but Restaurant owner Ronald McDonald says it was because they were being anti social….probably singing down down prices are down…..I would refuse them service for that.

 

Seven students treated for chemical exposure at Sydney School after an experiment went wrong.

 

Father of two jailed for filming more than 200 people in Sydney Public Toilets.

 

Two teenage boys have been charged with trying to rob a supermarket wearing a Burqua.

 

Tradie accidents drills himself in the groin on a Gold Coast worksite. Man that’s got to hurt. I don’t know much about drills but I think he is doing it wrong.

 

Fast and Furious star fakes kidnapping.

 

Plans to build wind farms on the graves of soldiers in France has been abandoned. Good.

 

Couple who met on a blind date and then were married for 71 years have died on the same day after napping together. They died holding hands.

 

Mugabe resigns.

 

I am out. Have a good one.

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21st November 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

A Tsunami alert has been issued after a massive earthquake struck off the coast of Australia near New Caledonia.

 

Controversially PM Bernie wants to delay the sitting of federal parliament by a week.

 

A 21 year old Aussie Mormon Missionary in Samoa has been hit and killed by a vehicle.

 

A Queensland woman has been fleeced of $100,000 by a man she met on line and who she believed was in love with her…..Here is a rule people….don’t give money to online people you haven’t met; regardless of how desperate their life saving kidney operations seems.

 

McDonald’s customer charged after he was caught on film trashing Victorian Store……hey dad…what does it mean to be caught ‘on film’? What’s film?

 

Melbourne man jailed for having 780,000 images of child porn on his laptop.

 

Schoolies are selling their wrist bands online to toolies for $100.

 

A 17 year old schoolie has been rushed to hospital after crashing her scooter on the Gold Coast.

 

Pauline Hanson is a grandmother again.

 

Melbourne Westfields in trouble for putting Santa next to a lingerie shop. Let’s see how much trouble we can get into around that last story….Santa was hoping to grab something for Mrs Clause for the long winter nights of snuggling at the North Pole. Santa misunderstood the BNT brand thinking it was BLT….and he was hungry at the time. He was thinking of the future….if people don’t shop at BNT there may be fewer children and children are his customer base. That will do.

 

A Scaffold tower has crashed down on pedestrians in New York.

 

Infamous cult leader Charles Manson who inspired his followers to commit bloody murders has died in prison of natural causes.

 

Mandra in Greece is covered in mud from flooding.

 

Vatican has thrown open its doors to the poor and provided a gourmet feast to mark the world day of the poor.

 

A bullfighter has been impaled in the groin by a bull in Mexico….all I can say is I hope he doesn’t visit Santa in Westfield’s Melbourne.

 

Scientists say that 2018 will be the year of huge earthquakes.

 

Paris cop goes on shooting spree after breaking up with girlfriend. Kills three people.

 

That will do for today. Have a super Tuesday.

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18th November 2017 Morning News Wrap

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M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

Early polls suggest the ALP will win Queensland.

 

20,000 Queensland students descend on the Gold Coast this weekend for Schoolies.

 

John Ibrahim’s body guard has been shot in the back…..isn’t this what they are designed to do?

 

Where is Stu?

 

Queensland man with gunshot wound, drives himself to the pub..#straya…horrified patrons call an ambulance.

 

A pregnant woman who posed for a photo covered in bees has announced her baby was born still born. See Pic.

 

Kangaroos smash Samoa.

 

Fears of multiple deaths as an aircraft and a helicopter crash over a UK estate.

 

Wall Street down 100 points.

 

Katy Perry banned from China.

 

Conspiracy theorists claim the mysterious planet Nibiru will trigger apocalyptic earthquakes on Sunday. If you are worried about this being the end of the world, I need to let you know I am a Nigerian Prince and my late uncle left me $16billion to distribute to who ever I want and I have chosen you. Please send $3,589 USD processing fee and then I will send you a cool billion.

 

Lebanon says Israel shouldn’t go to war with it as Lebanon will win says Lebanon. Dear Lebanon. Ask Syria how they worked out for them.

 

Have a great Saturday.

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17th April 2017 Morning News Wrap

M68!: Morning News Wrap. From around the Globe to your Frontal Lobe. Good Morning. Here is the News:

 

Queensland Premier win the one and only people’s debate last night.

 

Police arrest a woman after fatally stabbing a man in Beenleigh.

 

Politicians pushing through changes to the Marriage Act saying that debate about religious freedom protections should happen later….meaning that they are now going to pass the legislation with less protections for churches than everyone assumed. Well that’s a surprise. Not.

 

Victorian tow truck driver has had his arm rip off whilst on the job.

 

WA man fighting for life after being struck by lightening.

 

NBN installer in Sydney has been asking women for access to their phones so he can install an NBN app and then stealing nudie photos of them off their phone.

 

Victorian mum has woken from a coma after three months, seeing her new son for the first time.

 

A Sydney man who became enraged that nuggets weren’t on McDonalds breakfast menu was arrested after ordering 200 Hash Browns. Assault with a cooked potato.

 

Workman rescued after being trapped in mud in Melbourne trench collapse.

 

Horrific secretly recorded footage shows free range chickens being boiled alive at an abattoir. If you buy free range eggs because you have a vision of happy chooks roaming on a hillside with a nice river flowing past….then I am an Nigerian prince who has a rich dead uncle and I want to share my wealth with you…please send me $3450 US processing fee.

 

NZ family may be paralyzed for life after eating wild boar meat.

 

Mugabe has been seen for the first time since a military coup but he is refusing to stand aside.

 

Wall Street up 197 points after Congress voted on a Trump Tax bill.

 

A 19 year old model has sold her virginity to a man from Abu Dhabi for $3 million. Bummer….I gave mine away for free.

 

Court overturns one of Rolf Harris’ indecent assault convictions.

 

10 killed in Russia between a bus and a logging truck.

 

14 people in Afghanistan bombing.

 

Have a super Friday.

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